


Wedding Plans

by Bellatrix_Wannabe_89



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Next Generation, Post-Finale, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-05-24 00:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14944202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellatrix_Wannabe_89/pseuds/Bellatrix_Wannabe_89
Summary: Planning a wedding is always stressful. Now add in the fact that one bride is fretting about trying to hide her 'bad days' from her future in laws, the other bride is dealing with the most convoluted family tree in history, and BOTH their fathers have their own ideas about how the wedding should go? It's a recipe for chaos... Curious Archer/Outlaw Queen (Robin never died)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kinda AU in that Zelena killed Hades before he killed Robin, he went on to marry Regina, the two of them co parented Robyn with Zelena and she never met Chad when she left Hyperion Heights. Takes place sometime after the series finale. Just a fun fluffy Mad Archer fic with some Outlaw Queen, and Knight Rook and all sorts of other fun ships and stuff thrown in for good measure

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Robyn awoke from her heavy slumber to the loud shrill angry beeping of a smoke detector.

"Oh bloody hell!" she heard her girlfri-, fiancée, Robyn reminded herself with a grin, having popped the question the previous night, shout from their kitchen.

"Alice?" the dark blonde woman called out as she got out of the somewhat springy bed and made her way into the kitchen, grabbing her forest green robe on the way down. "You alright?"

Robyn entered the kitchen, coughing at the thick black smoke that was quickly filling up the small room, watching as Alice tried, unsuccessfully to silence the beeping smoke detector by waving away the smoke with a broom.

She spotted the culprit, a smoking pan on the stove filled with the blackened chars of… something, she wasn't quite sure what. Still coughing, Robyn grabbed the pan off the stove and dumped it into the sink, letting the cold water run over it.

"I'm sorry!" Alice cried out from her position under the smoke detector, "I just- I wanted to make you breakfast and cooking works so much more different here then back home and- why are you laughing at me? Iss not funny," she said with a rather cute pout, watching Robyn try to hold back her laughter. "I coulda burnt the whole building down!"

"I'm sorry it's just, you're so adorable when you apologize," Robyn said with a grin as she dragged a chair underneath the smoke detector and climbed on top of it, silencing it with a press of the button.

Alice helped the archer down back onto the floor before they both went over, peering into the pan and grimacing at the blackened remains.

"It was supposed to be French toast," Alice informed her, wrinkling her nose as she looked down at it. "I was gonna add sprinkles and syrup to it and everything."

"Well... instead of you making me breakfast, how about I take you out for pancakes at Grannies?" Robyn offered, grabbing hold of her hand, unable to hide the grin when she looked at the ring that fit slightly loosely on Alice's finger.

It wasn't the typical engagement ring. A brilliant blue sapphire instead of a diamond, two thin white gold bands twisted together instead of a solid yellow gold band, a bit too large for the curly haired blondes dainty hand.

It was original and eccentric and creative and fun and beautiful; just like her Tower Girl.

Alice smiled sheepishly as the bespectacled archer brought her hand to her lips.

"Then after breakfast," Robyn continued, "you can go tell your dad and I can go tell my mom, dad and aunt slash step mom, yes I know how weird that sounds, that they're adding another amazing person onto the very messed up family. Does that sound good, my lady?"

Alice cocked her head to the side. "No offense, love, but when you say 'M'lady' it just sounds weird in your accent."

"Oh I'm weird huh?" Robyn asked with a smirk as she wrapped her arms around Alice's tiny waist and pulling her against her.

"Yup." Alice grinned triumphantly, draping her arms around her neck. "You are indeed weird, Nobin."

"Ya know even now that we're engaged, that nickname isn't any more cool."

"It is absolutely positivity the coolest name and you wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm the one that came up with it and I am the coolest person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting."

Robyn chuckled before she reached down and lifted her fiancée up, years and years of archery toning her arms to the point the girl who had been to Wonderland felt as light as a feather.

Alice squealed adorably as she wrapped her arms around Robyn's neck tighter and wrapped her legs around her waist.

"You definitely are, Tower Girl," Robyn told her, bringing the lips against hers, enjoying the soft moan that escaped from Alice's mouth. "You definitely are…"

…

Regina moaned as Robins lips attacked her neck, his strong rough hands sending shivers down her spine as they made their way down her body.

"Robin…" she whimpered, wrapping her legs around his waist, her sharp nails leaving marks on his back. "Robin…"

The Outlaw moved his kisses to her collar bones and then between her breasts, his scruff pleasantly scratching the sensitive skin. She ran her hands through the sandy blonde hair as he moved even lower, landing his lips on her flat stomach and still continuing.

The Queen trembled as he kissed the soft creamy skin of her inner thigh as he spread her willing legs further apart as he moved closer towards his goal, his soft breath hitting Regina just right…

"Hello!"

The door to her bedroom flew open and Zelena strode in as if it were her own house.

"Bloody hell!" Robin yelled as he scrambled off the bed, grabbing one of the pillows to cover his lower half, any hardness he had for his Queen disappearing the moment he saw the red head.

"Zelena!" Regina barked as she yanked the blanket up over herself. "Don't you ever knock?!"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please. It's not like there's anything in here I haven't seen before," the witch said with a nod towards Robin who just glared at her in response.

"What do you want, Zelena?" Regina asked with a sigh, pushing a piece of hair from her face, unamused with her sisters antics.

"Well if you had answered your phones instead of… well whatever you were doing, it's not like you ever did anything like that with me," she muttered, having the gall to be offended, before she raised her voice, "you would have seen that I called you about ten times."

Regina reached for her phone, checking her call history and seeing that she was in fact telling the truth.

"What's going on?" Robin asked, his curiosity outweighing his anger at being interrupted.

"Robyn needs to talk to us."

"Why? What's wrong, is she okay?" the outlaw asked, a bit of panic in his voice.

"Oh she's fine, she just wants to meet us for lunch at Granny's today at noon."

"Why didn't she tell us this herself?" asked Robin a bit cautious.

Even after all this time; after Zelena sacrificed her magic to help stop the black fairy, after she killed Hades to save him, after she was willing to sacrifice her life for their daughter, Robin still didn't trust her.

"She tried," Regina answered for her offended sister as she looked at her phone. "'Regina, I need to meet you and Dad at Granny's at noon.' Few minutes later 'Reggg' thirteen g's 'gina, I really need you and Dad to come to lunch. Granny's, noon'. Then after that there's just an angry looking yellow face thing."

"See?" Zelena said. "Why don't ever trust me?"

"Because you posed as my deceased wife who you murdered, lied to me and my son for weeks, and tricked me into getting you pregnant all so you can get back at your sister?"

"Ugh, you two ARE perfect for each other, you hold a grudge better than she does. Anyway, I'll see the two of you there?"

Robin nodded in confirmation and in a proof of green smoke she was gone. Once she had disappeared, Robin sat down on the edge of the bed.

"God, that woman is like the anti viagra," the archer muttered.

Regina chuckled, wrapping her arms around him from behind and placing a kiss on her husband's shoulder. "Ya know… we still got a few hours before we have to meet at them at Granny's."

Robin cocked his brow as Regina's kisses traveled up to his neck as her hands explored his abs. "And I bet… that I can get this particular arrow..." He groaned softly as she reached down and gripped him with just the right amount of pressure, slowly moving her hand up and down. "Ready to shoot again?"

"I think that sounds like an excellent idea, M'lady," he moaned as he bit his lip.

Regina grinned as she shifted herself so that she was in front of him before she straddled him, kissing him as she ground against him, his 'arrow' coming right to life again.

"Regina," he groaned, his hands squeezing her ass, his absolute favorite part of her, their kisses hot and heavy. "Gods, Regina…"

She had just started to sink down onto him when the sound of their doorbell echoed through the house.

"Oh for the love of God!" The queen barked at who had interrupted them for a second time.

"Someone had best be dead!" Robin shouted as Regina got off him and stormed over to the door, magicing her silk gray robe around her before she ran down the stairs, too keyed up to properly use magic. She wrenched open the front door to find Little John standing there, crossbow in hand.

"What?!" she demanded the large wild haired man, hating the person who had been Robins best man at the wedding 28 years ago.

"It's Saturday, me and Robin were supposed to go hunting?" he reminded the Queen, having been around her long enough to no longer be phased by her anger.

"He's a little busy," she told the bowman with a sharpness in her tone she knew she would regret later but right now she had a very naked and very willing Robin Hood waiting for her in her bedroom.

"John!"

Or so she thought…

Regina turned and saw Robin hurrying down the stairs, drawing a disappointing moan from her lips as she saw him not in a simple robe that would have led her to believe that their earlier activities would be continuing, but in a pair of jeans and a white cotton shirt, pulling on his forest green vest.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized to his Queen as he pulled in his hunting boots that were by the door. "I forgot that I had planned this with him but I promised John I'd go, and I-."

"Can't break a promise," she finished with a sigh.

Most times she loved his honor and his infallible code and other times… not so much.

"I'll meet you and Robyn at Granny's," he told her with a quick kiss before he grabbed his bow and quiver full of arrows that were also by the front door. "Then tonight I promise I'm all yours, M'lady."

"You better be," Regina said, only half joking.

Another quick kiss and they were on their way…

I know it was kinda a slow start but I promise it'll pick up. And Wish!Hook will be showing up next chapter and Henry and everyone else so Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So seeing as how OUAT doesn't even care about their own TLs, I don't see why I should either. So I have made Hope Swan-Jones no longer a baby but she is instead 23, two years younger than Robyn, and Neal Nolan is 26, a year older than Robyn.

a!"

Hook grinned as Alice came running up onto the deck of the Jolly Roger.

After the Queen had cast her curse, Regina, as thanks for all the help 'Rogers' had given 'Roni', she had helped him procure his ship and he had lived on boat parked at the docks of Storybrooke for the last few months.

"Hey, Starfish!" he greeted happily as he embraced her in a warm hug. He had missed this so much, hugging his girl, holding her hand, just being able to be near her that anytime they were together it was as if he didn't want to let go because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to touch her ever again.

"I made us some marmalade sandwiches for lunch," he told her, motioning to the table where the sandwiches laid out. "Then I figured we take one of the dinghys out, see what the catch of the day is?"

"That sounds lovely, Papa," Alice said with a smile, bouncing rather eagerly . "But before we do all that, I have got some news."

"What is it, Starfish?"

Alice just beamed as she held up the hand her ring was on.

"Robyn asked last night and I said yes!" the words practically exploded out of her mouth with a rather adorable squee.

The blonde waited for a response, for any emotion, for anything other than the dumbfounded look on his face.

"Are-... are you happy, Papa?" she asked nervously, her smile waning some.

A slow smile spread to his lips. "I've never been happier, Alice."

Alice beamed before she took hold of his hand and his hook and the two spun on the polished wooden deck.

"Oh it was so romantic! She took me to a picnic down by the shore, just us and the moonlight and a few torches and she had marmalade sandwiches and candy apples and wine and then after we ate she asked me to read some of my adventures in her Alice book and I opened the book and there was the ring and, oh Papa, it was the bestest night in my entire life! Even better then when I escaped that tower!"

Hook laughed at the excitement in her daughter's voice and hugged her again. "I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to walk you down the aisle. Has Robyn told her family yet?"

Alice's smile faded somewhat.

"Um no, she's-... telling them now."

Hooks face fell at the sudden shift in his daughters enthusiasm.

"What's wrong? Talk to me, Alice."

"Nothing, it's just…" Alice glanced down at the deck, shifting her feet almost ashamedly. "Her mum's the Wicked Witch and her Papa is Robin Hood and her stepmum is the Evil Queen and that means that technically she's step sisters with Snow White and her cousin is the truest believer and all of them are heroes and… and none of them have 'bad days'. Not like me."

Hook felt his heart shatter as his little girl sniffed. "Wot if they think I'm not good enough for her?"

"Alice… of course they're going to think you're good enough for her. They love you."

"They've never seen my… seen my bad days though. Even when we were cursed, the only one of them I really knew was her Papa."

The curse had made Robin Hood 'Robert Locs,' and instead of the happily married outlaw, he was a common thief who lived out on the train tracks near Alice in the boxcar next to her, along with the rest of the cursed Merry Men, and spent a fair amount of time drinking whiskey and flirting with the owner of Roni's Bar.

As a cop, Robin was Hooks biggest adversary. He would constantly elude him, managing to escape not only from his grasp but from the handcuffs and even jail cells that Hook would put him in.

What had caused most of the cops hatred for the thief was that Robin had tried to convert Alice into being part of his group, to stop assisting Hook and 'Weaver' in their investigations and to just live outside the law with him. He tried to get her to become a criminal, to ignore the law and turn her back on the police officers as he and the rest of his men had.

But, and this was what had made Hook forgive the Outlaw once the curse broke, Robin had looked out for the blonde when he and Rumple couldn't. When he stole food, he always gave Alice the bigger share, he had stolen her warm blankets and heavy coats in the winter months and, to this day it confounded Hook how he even managed this, stole her an air conditioner in the summer so she didn't roast to death in her metal home.

Robin had also been her protector. The blondes naivety had almost gotten her into trouble with some less than scrupulous men who saw her as easy pickings due to her mental health issues and the fact she was homeless and the outlaw had saved her from being a victim more than once.

Even when Regina had been awakened by Drizella and offered Robin a place to live in her apartment he refused her, telling her that he had to stay in his boxcar so he could be close enough to protect Alice, choosing honor over his true love once again, even when he didn't realize it. And he stayed by her side until Hook offered the blonde a place to stay in his spare room. Only then did he take the Queen up on her offer, not realizing he was moving back in with his wife.

Hook would never be able to repay the outlaw for what he did for his daughter but giving Robins child his blessing to ask for Alice's hand in marriage seemed like a good start.

"What If… what if I have a bad day during the wedding?" Alice continued. "Or- or when I'm dress shopping or when we're meeting with an adoption agent or-."

"Love, slow down," Hook interrupted the rant. "You're gonna be fine. You haven't had a bad day in a while."

"I know but I'm still scared, Papa."

Hook frowned as he pushed a stray curl from he pale face. He hated when she was upset, especially about something she had no control over. The pain in his heart when he saw her without a smile was almost as real as the pain when his heart was poisoned.

"Listen to me, Starfish." He took her hands and pulled her close, wiping away a tear that had fallen from her pale blue eye. "They aren't going to care about your bad days. Robyn isn't going to care about your bad days."

"I know Robyn won't but… I really want her family to like me and not think I'm not good enough because I really really love her, and I don't want her upset 'cause her families upset and-."

She tried to muffle the sobs but it came far too sudden. Hook instantly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her towards him, letting the blonde cry on his leather clad shoulder.

"It's alright, Starfish," he whispered sweetly to her, gently running her back through the warm red flannel she had on. "It's alright…"

…

"Yes… yes… yes… no!"

Regina groaned into the phone as she walked into Granny's, the small tinkling bell appearing far more annoying than usual.

"Look, for the final time, I can't authorize ice coverage insurance in your area… Because your sister-in-law sets off eternal winters anytime she gets upset, Kristoff! Okay, Elsa is the Queen in Arendale, take it up with her but I think you'll find she agrees with… well same to you too!"

The Queen huffed as she hung up on the man who, in her opinion, had a relationship that was FAR too personal with his reindeer.

The way it worked in the new Storybrooke was the same as it worked in the country she had chosen to put them in back when Regina cast her first curse.

Each little realm of story, if they wanted to when she first cast the curse, kept the monarchs and leaders who ruled over them, like a governor would preside over a state.

Then Regina acted as President, overseeing the issues that affected the entire land as a whole, as well as pulling double duty as Mayor of Storybrooke.

While she appreciated the trust that new Storybrooke, had put in her, the Queen would be lying if she said she didn't occasionally miss only ruling over her little town in Maine.

She spotted Zelena sitting in the booth closest to the back, stirring her coffee as she waited for the rest of their odd family.

Regina walked across the small diner. "You have any idea what's this about?" she asked the moment she sat down.

"Not a clue," the redhead admitted. "Where Robin?"

"He's out hunting with John," Regina said. "He said he'd meet me here around noon."

"Indeed I did," the thick accent the Queen adored rang out and, just like the day the two met so many years ago, she couldn't help but smile at the sound of it.

"Hello, M'lady," Robin greeted with a quick kiss to the Queen's lips before he slid in next to her, putting his bow and quiver down on the floor next to him. "We are going to be feasting like royalty for the next few weeks. I do hope you enjoy wild turkey."

"The king is doing his own hunting, how quant," Regina said as she put on fake airs, laughing when he grimaced at the title.

"Hey I legally abdicated the throne the day after we got married," he reminded her as he motioned Ruby over so he could order a coffee. "I'm no more a King then Granny is a Queen."

"Doesn't make it any less amusing to see you scowl everytime someone calls you 'your majesty', your majesty," Zelena said with a smirk.

"Besides, you were the Prince of Thieves, you had to have known you were going to move up the throne eventually," Regina teased, she too knowing how much Robin hated being referred to as royalty.

"You two are hilarious," the archer said, wrapping an arm around the Queen's shoulder. "The joke hasn't worn thin in nearly thirty years, not a bit."

"You mean the joke where you're King of every realm of story?" his daughter said as she walked over to the group before she took the spare seat besides Zelena. "That would make me next in line for the throne right?"

"I'm not a King and you are not a princess, as much as you liked to pretend you were when you were a child," Robin said as he gave a nod of thanks to Ruby who dropped off his coffee.

"Or when you were in Middle school," Zelena chimed in.

"Don't forget High School," Regina added

"Hey! What is this, insult the Robins day?" the blonde cried with fake offense. "Besides at least I grew out of my mean girl phase, Hope Swan hyphen Jones is still a bitch," Robyn muttered, rolling her eyes at the mere mention of the girl Robyn was positive was put on this earth just to torment her.

"Language," Robin chastised while Zelena and Regina nodded in agreement about the assessment of the blonde.

"Sorry, sorry… But anyway." Robyn cleared her throat and straightened out. "I have brought us all here for a very special announcement."

Robin knitted his brows together. "Is everything alright, Sweetheart?"

"Everything is actually better than alright. It's perfect, actually." Seeing the confused look on her parents and step mother, Robyn took a deep breath, trying to keep a rather dorkish grin from appearing. "So last night, I asked Alice a question."

"Question? What question?"

"If… she would marry me…"

"WHAT?!"

"And she said yes."

The delighted scream that Zelena let out was enough to deafen the entire diner before she wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter. "MY BABY'S GETTING MARRIED!"

"You're getting married?!" Robin asked aghast before abandoning his seat and joining Zelena in hugging their child as tight as he could. "Oh Sweetheart, I'm so happy for you!"

As Regina looked at the two parents and their child, the child Regina loved as much as she loved Henry and Roland, who she had help raise right alongside Robin and Zelena, she couldn't help that same sliver of envy that pierced her heart every time she was reminded of the one thing she and Robin would never have together.

The Queen was happy for Robyn. She truly, genuinely in her heart of hearts was. She was even happy for her sister and husband. But, even after all these years, she still couldn't help herself…

Robyn was supposed to be hers. Zelena was supposed to be the aunt. Regina was supposed to be sharing this moment with Robin, not as a confusing add on that needed a five minute explanation, but as her mother.

Yes it had been almost thirty years since that day when Regina had showed up at Robins doorstop in New York but still…

Regina wasn't exactly known for letting go of a grudge.

But this moment wasn't about her or her jealousy. This was about Robyn's happiness and Regina would rather throw herself off the top of her mansion then to make this day about her and not about the girl sitting in front of her.

Regina beamed at her niece/step daughter, reaching out and taking the blondes hands.

"Robyn, this is amazing," Regina said with a sincerity that was as true as Zelena's excitement had been and a smile. "You deserve your happy ending."

"When's the wedding?!" The redhead asked, hugging her daughter tighter. "Oh tell me it's sometime in the winter, then you can use a nice beautiful green as one of your colors."

"Okay, I'd love to answer that but I'm literally being squeezed to death," Robyn gasped out.

Both Robin and Zelena let go of her and the outlaw took his seat besides his wife again, unable to suppress the beaming grin on his face. "Sorry, Love. But have you two set a date yet?"

"We're not really sure, I mean we didn't… exactly do a whole lot of talking last night…" Robyn muttered, a deep red blush appearing on her cheeks.

"... Didn't need that visual," Robin said as he cleared his throat. "But whatever you and Alice decide on, I'm sure the wedding itself is going to be just as lovely as the bride will be."

Robyn smiled an easy smile at her father. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're very welcome, Love."

Regina couldn't help herself as she reached over and grabbed hold of Robins hand while he looked at his daughter with the same softness and care and love as he did the day she was born.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm introducing a character who a Disney movie referred to as a 'Gypsy' which is actually an offensive term for Romani people. So rather then just be ignorant and use that word to describe her because that's how we ended up with Trump as president, she's just referred to as Romani.

_“Beata Maria! You know I am a righteous man! Of my virtue I am justly proud! Beata Maria! You know I'm so much purer than the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd! Then tell me, Maria! Why I see her dancing there?! Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul?! I feel her! I see her! The sun caught in her raven hair is blazing in me out of all control! LIKE FIRE! HELLFIRE! THIS FIRE IN MY SKIN! THIS BURNING! DESIRE! IS TURNING! MEEE! TOOO! SIIIIIIN!"_

"And to think you don't have a record deal yet. It's a total crime really."

Roland Hood smirked at his sister, taking a long drink of the beer set beside him on a metal folding chair.

While Robyn was a miniature clone of her namesake, Roland had seemed to only inherit his father's dimples and that strong jaw with that smug smirk that sent women to their knees. The rest of him was most definitely Marian with tanned skin, brown eyes and dark hair that he had shaved on both sides so that he only had a thick strip of dark curls from the front of his head to the back along with three separate earrings in his ear, one in his eyebrow and then a plain metal ball in the tip of his tongue.

He also had a rather elaborate detailed lion head tattoo that took up his entire right arm, the word 'Locksley' tattooed over his heart in Old English script, two crossed arrows on the front of his throat, several other rather insignificant markings, and the one that held the most meaning for him which was the smallest and least detailed out of all Roland's tattoos.

The letter 'M' in burgundy ink on his wrist written in a small plain script.

"It stands for Marian," he had told Robin when he showed it off to his father. "I figured she'd like something simple."

It was the first time that Roland saw tears in his father's eyes.

"You're just jealous that you couldn't hit a note if your life depended on it." He picked back up his guitar, the artificial lights in the run down garage reflecting off the sleek forest green guitar paint that was their father's signature color as he played a rather complicated series of notes. "Or play one."

"You're not singing, first off, you're screaming," Robyn corrected her brother. "And I happen to be an excellent singer."

"It's metal, you're supposed to scream. Plus you're singing literally frightened away cats."

"Hey!" A tanned woman with beautiful deep green eyes and the thickest jet black hair Robyn had ever seen who had been watching the practice hit Roland in the chest. "Don't be mean to your sister."

The girl who hit him was dressed in a short leather purple skirt and a white and light green striped halter that revealed a sun and stars belly piercing. Her dark brown skin was covered with her own array of tattoos, many of them Romani symbols that Robyn had no idea what they stood for.

"Sorry, Essy," Roland told the dark skinned girl, wrapping an arm around her bare waist.

"No no, it's Esmeralda when I'm mad at you," the girl told him.

"Why are you mad at me? I literally wrote an entire song about you. How many girls get to say that their boyfriends wrote a song about them?"

"Because you're being a jerk to your sister."

Roland rolled his eyes and Robyn just smirked at her brother.

Roland and Esmeralda had been dating for the past three months and Robyn had never seen her brother that serious about a girl before he had met the fiery Romani.

There had been other women, many other women, but with the black haired woman it was different.

He truly cared about her, not just what was between her legs, and Esmeralda in turn cared for him.

"Besides I heard that song," Esmeralda continued, "and no offense, Roe, but it sounds like you're singing about your stepmom and it's kinda creepy."

"I heard it too and I gotta agree," Robyn said as she reached into the mini fridge they kept in the garage and pulled out a cold beer. "Lyrics make it sound like you have some weird stepmom fetish."

"What are you talking about? I mean Regina's just Regina. You're…" Roland smirked as his brown eyes looked over his girlfriend. "Well you're you."

"'The witch who sent this flame', 'don't let this siren cast her spell, don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone'. Like the main thing she does is literally send fireballs at people and burn them and you named the song 'Hellfire'."

"... Ah crap."

"Mmm hmm." Esmeralda smirked as she clapped him on the shoulder. "Get back to the drawing board, babe."

Robyn laughed at the look on her brother's face before she sat down on one of the chairs.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Roland asked as he too took a seat on the opposite end of the garage while his fellow band mates took breaks as well. Esmeralda sat down on his lap, drinking her own beer. "Just come down to visit the more attractive Hood?"

"You're hilarious," she said rather dryly.

When they were growing up, the two siblings mostly got along. Robin taught them both archery, Robyn had taken to it FAR more than Roland had, they had been taught to not only survive but to thrive in the forest, and he had taught them to be righteous and honorable and truthful; everything that their father said made someone worthy.

Of course with the Evil Queen as their step mother and the Wicked Witch as Robyn's mother and Roland's Aunt, some of his lessons didn't exactly adhere as strongly as their father would have liked.

Then when they entered High School the two siblings seemed to split off into their own people.

Where Robyn was a valedictorian, Roland 'wasn't much the reading sort' as their father's friend Will Scarlet described him as. Robyn was in track and volleyball and cheerleading, Roland said he would rather slit his wrists then be classified as a 'joiner'.

The blonde archer was a self described 'judgey mean girl', and the curly haired musician could have cared less about what anyone thought of him. More often than not he was skipping school for band practice or just to hang out with his friends or cause trouble until he was eighteen and focused all his efforts on his music, convinced that by the time he was 20, he was going to be number one on the Billboard Chart and dating Rihanna.

Eleven years later the biggest gig Roland and his band 'The Bards of Sherwood' got was playing at 'The Rabbit Hole' every so often and had gotten the gig of playing the Storybrooke High Prom for the past eleven years so he made ends meet working as a manager at the only record store in town and gave guitar lessons to anyone who wanted to pay him.

"Okay, so last night I took Alice on a date down by the shore."

"Ooh this is getting good already," the drummer, a pale white guy with black dusty hair and a large scar on his face purred in a slick British accent as he leaned back in his chair, looking at Robyn like a cat would look at a bowl of catnip.

"Dude, that's my sister!" Roland barked, "Jesus Christ, Scar!"

"Sorry, sorry, but I mean two girls, together, you gotta admit… that's hot, Roe."

Roland made sure Esmeralda was up off his lap and steady on her feet before he stormed over to the drummer.

But before the dark haired man could reach him, there was a loud crash that sounded suspiciously like a brown leather boot crashing into and breaking his very expensive drum set.

Which, in fact, it was.

"It's a bit of a stereotype but I did letter in Softball," Robyn said with a smirk that matched her brother's, now wearing only one shoe.

"You bitch!" Scar shouted at her as he studied the giant hole in his drums. "Do you know how expensive this is!"

"Yup."

The black haired man glared at her before he looked at the other band members, expecting them to back him up in his outrage but instead they all looked like they too wanted to throw things at his instrument.

"Why don't you head home, man?" the bassist, a red haired man who was never without his fedora named Thomas O'Malley, said with a sleek coolness. "That shit ain't cool."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, he is," Esmeralda barked as she went over and stood by the archer. "Get the fuck out."

Scar huffed put an angry breath before he stormed out of the garage.

After a long awkward moment of silence Robyn cleared her throat, clapping her hands together. "So… anyway, I'm engaged."

"WHAT?!"

"I asked her last night and she said yes

Roland beamed with pride as he raced over to her, picking up the archer and spinning her around.

"MY BABY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED!"

Robyn laughed as Roland finally set her down and sprinted over to the bands liquor shelf and grabbed several paper shot glasses and a bottle of the best whiskey $20 could buy.

"I'm so happy for you," Esmeralda told her with a grin as the two women embraced. "I'm gonna be one of your bridesmaids right?"

"Oh definitely!"

"Score!" Roland said with a grin as he poured the liquor into the cups. He smirked at the raven haired woman as he handed out the cups. "Best Man always get to sleep with one of the Bridesmaid."

"Who said you were my Best Man?" Robyn asked with her own smug grin as she gave Thomas a hug who classified the engagement as 'fucking cool'. "What if I want Henry to be it?"

"Like you'd ever want that dork to be the Best Man," Roland said with a joking scoff.

"Come on, you know you love our dorky brother slash cousin."

"Your cousin, not mine," he corrected her, his tone letting her know that he wasn't joking around, not that she needed to remind her how sensitive he was when it came to his relation with Robyn's mother.

Zelena was never just his 'aunt', he always made sure to specify that she was his 'step aunt by marriage'. While he merely called Henry his brother and Robyn his sister and thought of Regina as his mother for the most part with no buffer needed for any of them, Roland always made sure sure to use as many asterisks as he could when it came to the red head.

Roland learned the truth from Hope. She told him all about how Zelena had been the one to kill Marian and tricked his father into sleeping with her just to spite Regina, and that his father and stepmom had messed with his memories to make him forget what had happened.

That was what had started his dark phase; what had started him on his party of covering himself with tattoos and piercing, he had shaved off his curls and abandoned the earthy tones his father dressed him in favor of an all black wardrobe.

Roland had hated life, hated his family, hated his father and mother for lying, REALLY hated the red head and hated everything about everyone and the only time he had felt remotely better about life was when he was playing his guitar.

After a few months of sulking and throwing away almost every life lesson Robin had tried to install in him, it had ended with father and son coming to blows when a sixteen year old Roland, in a moment of heated blond anger, screamed at Regina, who had been trying to calm down the two men down, and had not only called her a 'bitch' but had the audacity to physically push her away from him.

The outlaw had grabbed his son by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the wall, far angrier than either Regina or Roland had ever or would ever see him while he screamed in his sons face to NEVER put his hands on not just the dark haired Queen but any other woman for that matter ever again.

That emotional night ended with Roland in tears on the floor, sobbing that he missed his mother with Robin hugging him and telling him that everything was going to be alright.

After that, while he had forgiven Robin and Regina for messing with his memories, he hadn't forgave the red head but he could at least be in the same room as Zelena without looking like he wanted to kill her. Although they would be lying if there wasn't always a heavy tension in the air during holiday dinners.

"Sorry sorry," she said dismissively, ignoring the subtle insult against her mother.

Robyn learned long ago this was one subject where the otherwise close siblings would never agree. She believed the redhead had turned her life around, had earned her redemption same as Regina had, Hell she had killed her own true love to save their father.

But, while Roland was cordial to the witch, he would never forgive her for what she did to Robin or Marian.

So the two Hoods decided the less they talked about Zelena the better.

"But yes of course you're gonna be the Best Man but we gotta keep the wedding party small, Alice… doesn't really have a lot of friends here."

"Well I mean I've seen her around town with that blonde girl Hope, they seem pretty friendly," Esmeralda said. "Maybe she could be her Maid of Honor

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" both Robyn and Roland yelled at the same time.

"Hope Swan-Jones is a total mega super bitch," Robyn assured the dark haired woman.

"She is NOT even invited to the wedding much less being apart of it."

"If she was there, I wouldn't even go myself and I'm the bride. Besides, she's not 'nice' to Alice, it's her bitchiness disguised as kindness," Robyn spat. "Hope just pretends to be nice so she can get some 'funny stories about the crazy chick' to tell the rest of her little clique but Alice doesn't know what she's doing, she's too innocent for that.

Esmeralda held up her hands in mock surrender.

"Whoa, sorry for even bringing her up… You two really don't like her huh?"

"Very long blood feud," Roland explained.

Esmeralda, who had come over with the newest curse, hadn't yet been caught up on the generation long war between the families.

"Mills and Hoods don't really get along with Swans, Jones or Charmings," Robyn told her with Roland standing beside her nodding in agreement.

"Henry and Alice being the exception but Henry has the Mills name so he's on our team and Alice is only a Jones and not a Swan-Jones so she doesn't count either," Roland clarified.

"Wait now there's actual teams?"

"Yes," both siblings said in unison as if the answer was obvious.

Esmeralda chuckled as she downed the shot Roland had poured her. "You two are fucking nuts. But as much as I'd love to sit around discussing what sounds like an extremely convoluted family backstory that would probably take seven years to unravel, I gotta get going and walk Achilles."

Roland too downed his shot before wrapping his arms around her slender waist. "You coming by later tonight?"

"You gonna write me a better song that doesn't sound like you wanna mack on your step mom?"

"Of course, My Lady. You're the only woman I wanna mack on."

Esmeralda merely chuckled before hugged Robyn once more.

"I'm seriously happy for you, Robyn."

"Thanks, Essy."

One last friendly squeeze, a quick kiss to her boyfriend and she was gone.

…

Hope sighed in boredom as she scrolled through Storybrookes version of Facebook, 'Facebrooke.'

'Queen' Regina, Hope scoffed and rolled her blue eyes to the heavens whenever she heard someone refer to the dark haired woman by her official title, had decided after Dopey had begun friending people outside their magical little corner of Maine and got people interested and questioning where exactly he was from that it was illegal for the citizens in New Storybrooke to use any social media apps apart from the ones that she had Happy design and, unless they one of the very few people who could cross the town line without incident, they were not allowed to 'friend' people outside of New Storybrooke.

God this town was so boring. Not to mention where did Regina get off thinking she had the authority to make any rules for anyone? Her grandparents should be ruling Storybrooke, not that witch, then after them came her parents, and finally Hope herself. Why should Regina get to rule? Just because there was some election?

Ugh. Whatever. It was probably a fixed election anyway.

The blonde continued to scroll the app until she came across a post one of her friends had commented on.

It was of that crazy homeless chic Alice and that little miss wannabe princess Robyn Hood hugging each other and beaming at the camera.

God Hope hated Robyn.

Her rival didn't realize the only REAL princesses in Storybrooke was Hope, her mother, and grandmother. Robyn wasn't even a descendant of royalty, she was just lucky her homeless forest smelling father had fallen for a 'queen'.

All Robyn was, was the daughter of a witch who had tried to kill her uncle Neal and a moralizing sap who had stolen from Hopes own grandparents and great grandparents for God's sake!

Plus the archer was, without question, a total mega super bitch.

" _She said yes,"_ was all the caption said above the photo. When Hope looked closer she noticed the rather ugly engagement ring on Alice's finger.

Hope glared down at her phone, hating the happy looking couple. The blonde had dated plenty of boys, she had even considered dating Robyn's brother merely to get a rise out of the archer, but she had yet to find that perfect someone. Her whole family all had predestined true loves. All of them had a special someone out there who existed solely to love one another.

All of them had that… except Hope.

It wasn't fair that a bitch like Robyn got to be happy, even if her fiancée was a psycho.

" _Your only hope of true love is with someone who's so messed up in the head she believes she's actually real,"_ Hope typed in the comment section. " _Don't forget, she only exists because my mom made a wish. Sad."_

The blondes finger lingered over the send, swallowing hard as the comments grew to over a hundred, all of them offering their well wishes, including her own mother and father.

Sighing, Hope backspaced the snarky comment and scrolled past it without typing in a word.

She'd let them have this happy day. A gift, from the blonde if you will.

But Hope had very, very few gifts left to give…

 


	4. Chapter 4

Morning, Mommy."

Emma smiled as their daughter came down the stairs.

"Hey, Kid," Emma said as the young blonde reached downs and kisses her mom on the cheek before she did the same to her father.

"Morning, Daddy."

"Morning, Princess. That's… quite the ensemble you choose today."

Emma just smirked into her cereal as Hope rolled her eyes. She was dressed in a light pink mini skirt and a white tank top with a pink cut off hoodie overtop of it.

"It accents my best features, Daddy," Hope said as she sat down.

"Yeah, Killian, it accents her best features," Emma said as she held back a grin, knowing full and well the long fight the old fashioned Hook and their very modern daughter had over her fashion choices was still going strong.

Hook, knowing he was outnumbered in his opinion regarding Hopes choice of clothing just handed his daughter the cereal in front of him only to receive a shake of the head as an answer.

"I'm off carbs this month," she announced, instead grabbing a pear from the fruit bowl on the table.

"You weigh ninety pounds," her mother told her.

"...Your point?"

"Just make sure you eat something for lunch?" said Emma as she got up from the table, grabbing her red jacket and pulling it on.

Hope rolled her eyes as she took a bite of the pear.

"Fine, Mommy,"

"Good."

Hook got up from the table as well. "What are you losing weight for anyway, the wedding probably isn't for a few months."

Hope looked at the pirate like he had grown a second head. "You don't think I'm actually going to that freak show do you?"

"Of course you're going, Alice is your sister. Sort of."

"Um, no. First off Alice isn't even real, okay she was created from a wish. Second, she's certifiably insane, like needs to live in a place with men in white coats and straight jackets insane."

"Come on, Kid, you're being a bit of a brat," Emma told her as she clipped on her badge."

Hope pretended she hadn't heard her mother. "Third; the girl she's marrying? Have you both forgotten what Robyn did to me? Hell, did you forget what her whole family did to ours?"

"To be fair, you and her have gone back and forth quite a bit," Hook offered in defense of the archer. "Plus we've all forgiven Regina. And Zelena for that matter, isn't it time you did too?"

Hope just rolled her eyes as Emma leaned down and kissed her on top of her head.

"Be nicer to them or I'm making you work on your grandparents farm for the week," the blonde warned with another kiss. Before Hope could argue, her parents were out the door and shutting the door behind them.

—

"Hello Robyn with a Y!"

Robyn grinned as she saw her fiancée walk into the bar where the archer worked.

After the family had been brought back to Storybrooke with the latest curse Robyn realized that she… really didn't have any education to do anything. She had graduated high school and, while her step mother and mother pushed for her to get a college education, she had instead joined her cousin in the Enchanted Forest where her mother joined her soon after. Then when they were cursed she had worked at Ronis as bartender, to her mother's displeasure, before she backpacked around the world, eventually landing back at the small tavern.

So when they were brought back to Storybrooke, Robyn did what she knew best; pouring drinks.

Both Robyn and Roland always felt a bit of shame at what they had chosen to do with their lives in regards to careers. Neither one of them went to college and both of them worked at what others would call 'menial' jobs, one a bartender, the other a manager at a record store, but their father told them he didn't care if they were janitors, as long as they worked hard at whatever they choose and they stayed honorable while they did it, he was proud of them.

At 11:30 on a Sunday night and half an hour until closing the bar was abandoned with no one at the bar while Henry and Roland played darts. Or more accurately Roland completely dominated in darts while Henry struggled to hit the target period much less the bullseye.

Roland may not have been as talented with a bow as his sister was but the son of Robin Hood would have died of shame if he at least couldn't hit a few bullseyes in a bar. Henry, meanwhile, had never been one for bars much less the games inside of them so he had never got the hang of darts or pool or, really, anything when it came to alcohol.

Robyn got down a glass and filled it with some of the best whiskey the 'Rabbit Hole' had to offer and slid it to the blonde.

"So you tell your Dad?" Robyn asked, being answered with a nod.

"Yup! Papa was just as happy as I was." Alice hopped up on the bar stool. "Was… was your Mama, Papa and Step Mama slash Aunt happy?"

Robyn cocked her head as she looked at the obviously nervous Alice. Of all the things Alice was good at, hiding her emotions or her feelings wasn't one of them.

"Yeah all three of them were ecstatic… why, did you think they wouldn't be?"

A simple shrug was her answer as the blonde stared down at the scratched wood of the bar, scratching at it with a fingernail.

"Babe, my family loves you. Especially my dad."

"I know but-."

"Alice!"

Robyn held back a roll of her eyes as Roland ran up to them, picking the curly haired blonde up off her stool and spinning her around.

"Heard you're gonna be joining the family!"

Roland, who had stayed in Storybrooke instead of going with his sister or Regina and his father to the Enchanted Forest, hadn't been part of the Hyperion Heights curse so he had only met his future sister in law when he had woken up to his apartment shaking and thick purple smoke pouring over the small sleepy town of Storybrooke.

"Roland, this is Alice. From Wonderland," Robyn had introduced her once her brother had found her amongst the thousand of new citizens.

"And other places," Alice clarified.

"You would fall for a chick who chills with a stoned caterpillar," he said with a friendly smirk before he wrapped her in a bear hug, clapped her on the back and asked her if she knew where she could get him some of whatever said caterpillar was smoking.

So suffice to say he and Alice had gotten along fairly well, the musician proving just as protective of the eccentric blonde as his sister was.

"You're kinda making me dizzy," Alice said with a laugh before Roland set her down and sat down beside her. "Lemme get a beer," he told his sister. "Henry's gonna pay for it."

"That wasn't the bet," Henry said as he came over and sat down beside the pierced musician.

"No but I could kick your ass if I wanted to."

"... fair point. Get the man a beer, Robyn

Alice couldn't help the small smile that rose to her lips as the two men went back and forth in the friendly banter. For the longest time all she had was her Papa. Then when his heart was poisoned she had no one to talk to but the stuffed rabbit he had gotten her.

But now? Now she was engaged to a woman whose family that had a thousand different branches and all of them seemed to be friendly and loving and cared about one another.

She couldn't wait to join this family.

As the small group sat there and drank, all of them talking about the upcoming nuptials had in store when the door of the bar opened and a man dressed in a casual suit with pitch black hair with brown rimmed glasses walked in. He was attractive in a rather dorky sense, as was Henry. The two men could have almost been twins if not for the darker hair color and the glasses.

"Hello, Roland," the man said with a polite inclination of his head. "How are you doing today?"

"Fuck off, Neal."

"Alright then. Robyn, I'll take a scotch and soda if you would please."

Robyn held back a snicker as she poured Neal Leopold Nolan his drink and slid it to him. The black haired man raised his glass.

"I saw the Facebrooke post about your engagement and congratulations are in order." He gave the blonde sitting next to him a friendly nod. "I'm sure you and Alice will be more than happy together

"Thank you," Robyn told Neal as she clinked her own glass of whiskey against his.

Alice took a sip of her drink before she grabbed out the small notebook she carried around.

As much as she was looking forward to joining the rather large extended family, it was quite hard to keep track of all the links and relations.

"So New Neal."

"...I'm sorry, did you just call me 'New Neal'?"

Alice nodded. "Because there's already been one Neal and you're New Neal. Like Papas 'Nook', Robyn with a Y is 'Nobin.'

"No I'm not."

"So you're New Neal," the blonde finished with a grin. The black haired man almost wanted to flinch under the sharp stare he was receiving from both Hoods, practically daring him to mock her for the eccentric exploration.

"It makes sense," said Neal as he took a sip of his drink, avoiding their glares.

Alice beamed at the black haired man before she looked down at her notebook that includes the various names and links.

"So New Neal, you're Robyn's cousin?"

"No I'm…" both Robyn and Neal looked at one another in confusion. "her uncle?"

"Neal is Regina's Step Grandson," Henry explained, having to explain many of the family trees to his curious readers. "Regina is also Robyn's step mom. So that would make Neal Robyn's nephew. But Regina is also Robyn's aunt too so that would make Robyn and Neal... second cousins? I think?"

Alice blinked.

"I'll just say you're her cousin."

"Sounds good."

Neal chuckled as he checked his watch before he downed the rest of his drink. "Well I just stopped by to congratulate you two but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to get going. Leo's been colicky and Alexandra's practically losing her mind with him. Plus I gotta be in school early to help the kids with their science fair projects."

"Come on," Robyn pressured him but took his empty glass off the bar anyway. "I'm sure they'll be fine if you're ten minutes late because you slept in a little bit."

Neal looked at her as if she had gone insane.

"We're making a volcano."

The archer waved him away. "Fine, fine, go and be a nerdy ass responsible adult."

"That I am quite good at being."

Another polite nod to the outlaw's son who had stayed silent this whole time. "Roland."

"Fuck off, Neal."

"Always a pleasure. Have a good night, everyone."

Alice gave a pleasant wave before she turned back to her slightly amused fiancée.

"It's been thirteen years," Robyn chided her brother. "You don't think it's time you get over it?"

"No."

"Get over what?" asked Alice as she took a drink from her whiskey. "What happened?"

"I was fifteen and _Prince_ Neal caught me smoking weed out behind the school with my girlfriend after we… well she was only wearing my shirt when he found us if you get what I mean," Roland admitted. "He ran straight to Snow and snitched on me. She called Regina and my dad, Regina was pissed at Neal for getting me suspended because he couldn't keep a secret, Snow got mad at her for getting mad at him for doing 'the right thing', and dad got angry at Snow for getting mad at Regina.

Then Snow told Emma what happened and she got mad at my dad for getting mad at her mom and said it was basically his fault that me and Robyn turned into 'little thugs who think it's okay to break the law' and that made Dad and Regina PISSED so Regina called Hope a little 'stuck up bitch who isn't nearly as innocent as they think'."

"Which she is," Robyn added.

"But that made Emma and OG Hook angry and long story short I got suspected for a week and both families didn't talk for about three months."

Alice blinked again.

"... Oh my."

"Yeah. That family has major problems keeping their mouths shut," said Robyn.

Henry raised his brow at the two siblings. "Um… you both realize that I'm just as much a part of that family as I am yours right? Also, Roland, you smoked weed and had sex on school property and Robyn, a week before that you stole my mom's car for a joyride… you don't think either of you deserved to be called that even a little bit?"

"No!" both Hoods cried out defensively.

Henry rolled his eyes before he downed the rest of his beer as did Roland who clapped the author on the back.

"Come on," Roland said. "I'll let you give me a ride home."

"How generous of you."

"Well look at who my father is. Also I'm broke, you wanna pay for my drinks?"

Henry rolled his eyes but nevertheless pulled out his wallet and put down enough cash to cover both his and Roland's drinks.

"You're gonna pay me back one of these days."

"No I won't."

Another eye roll but Henry bit his tongue this time and instead just gave a quick hug to the young woman he had helped while he lived in the Heights.

"Congratulations, Alice."

"Thank you, Henry Mills."

With a wave to his cousin/step sister, Henry and Roland walked out of the bar leaving only Robyn and Alice alone.

"So," Alice said as Robyn did a final wipe down of the bar. "What'da ya say you and me get out of here? Did you know there's such a thing as CANDY corn? Turns out you really can put candy on anything and I may have some waiting for us at home…"

Robyn chuckled as she grabbed her purse from behind the bar and switched off the backlight.

"The only reason I'm saying yes is I'm opening tomorrow so I get to leave this place a mess," she admitted as she came around the bar and wrapped her arms around the blondes waist. "Plus you're so cute when you discover a new candy."

"And you, my favorite Robyn with a Y, are the cutest when you say I'm cute."

"Well then I guess I'm gonna have to say you're cute more often," said Robyn with that all too famous smirk her family was known for as she leaned in and kissed the blonde.

Alice wrapped her arms around Robyn's neck and pulled her in closer, moaning softly as her fiancée ran her hands through her long blonde curls.

"Alice," Robyn moaned as the blonde moved her lips behind the bartenders ear, kissing and sucking that one spot that drove her crazy.

"Hmm?" Alice purred as if she didn't know exactly what she was doing while she nipped playfully at her.

Robyn's hands bunched Alice's shirt in her hands, pulling her up against her rather athletic body as Alice abandoned the spot behind her ear and kissed her neck, making the archer groan louder.

"You are asking for trouble, Tower Girl," Robyn moaned but at the same time moving her head back so Alice had far more room to play.

"Troubles my middle name," Alice replied with a devilish smirk against her girlfriends skin.

"Oh is it?"

Robyn tried to maintain her bravado, her smug sexiness that let her fiancée knew she was in control but the longer she felt Alice's lips on her skin, the less in control she felt.

So, just as she felt Alice's hands slide under Robyn's forest green shirt, she, with her own impish grin, quickly twisted them around so that Alice's back was now facing the bar and lifted her up, setting her down comfortably on the bartop and hiking up her skirt all at the same time.

"Funny, because it's my middle name too.

With no time to waste, Robyn got in between Alice's eagerly spread legs and kissed her, hard. Robyn's hands made their way up her thighs, both of them hating the thin cheap partially ripped fabric of the tights that were separating Robyn's fingers and Alice's skin.

"How much do you like these?"

"Not at all," Alice gasped, and before she could even breathe Robyn grabbed hold of a hole near the top of the thigh and ripped it clear open, the cheap distressed fabric coming apart as if it had been designed to do so.

With her tights fully destroyed and what Robyn treasure freely accessible, Robyn wasted no time in rubbing her fiancée between her legs, her fingers already becoming soaked.

Alice let out that whimper that drove Robyn insane. That high pitched desperate begging whimper that let the bartender know that her Towergirl would do anything just for the privilege of being touched by her. She slid two fingers into her soaked girlfriend, curling and twisting them as she slowly moved them in and out

That lustfulled whimper again as Alice bucked against Robyn's hand while she quickly discarded her red checkered flannel and yanked off the white shirt underneath it.

Alice's eyes were closed, and her panting was punctuated by soft moans. The archer lowered her lips and sucked on one of her pert nipples through the blue lace. Robyn deftly undid the clasp, and in seconds, her bra joined the rest of Alice's discarded clothing. Robyn's lips found her rock hard nipple and she began to suck in earnest, while palming the other and never once slowing the hand that was expertly moving between her legs.

"Ooooo…don't stop…don't ever stop…" Alice begged. She smiled around her breast. She had no intention of stopping. Alice's body was trembling, and the sensation from her breasts was going right to her core.

Robyn stopped long enough to switch to the other nipple, giving it the same attention she gave the first. She pulled her fingers out of her but before Alice could even think of voicing her displeasure, Robyn ran her fingers over the blondes engorged clit, her rough fingertips circling it just how Alice liked, smirking when the beautiful sound of Alice screaming Robyn's name echoed through the bar.

"Right there!" Alice cried, grinding hard against the archers talented hand, wrapping her arms around Alice's head and pulling her closer . "Please, Robyn! Please, right there!"

God she loved hearing her Tower Girl beg…

Robyn sucked at Alice's breast like she hadn't eaten in years while her fingers moved against her clit expertly in just the perfect way to get the blonde to where she needed her to be.

"Right there!" Alice screamed again, feeling herself climb closer and closer to the edge. "Robyn, right there! Robyn right- right there! Robyn! ROBYN!"

The bartender was rewarded with a flood of wetness for all her hard work as she pushed her fiancée over the top. She took neither her hand away from between her legs nor her lips from her nipple as Alice rode out her orgasm, clutching Robyn's head so hard she felt like it might explode and her face pulled so tight against her chest she could barely breathe.

But if Robyn had to die, going with her hand between Alice's legs and her face buried in her breasts seemed like the best way to go…

Once the tremors had ceased Robyn pulled away from her fiancée, handing the very satisfied blonde back her clothes and helping her off the bartop.

"That didn't seem very sanitary," Alice said as Robyn helped her back into her flannel once her bra and shirt were back on her.

Robyn pulled her love's brown skirt back down to its respectable length.

"I'll reserve that spot for Hope."

Even knowing that she was, in some form, her sister, Alice couldn't help the giggle that escaped her.

Robyn did a quick wipe down of the bartop again, put her purse over her shoulder and, after grabbing hold of the blondes hand, left the bar for the night.


	5. Chapter 5

"No!"

"Absolutely not!"

"Not on your life!"

"Why would you think this would be okay?!"

"I thought your father and I raised you better than that!"

"...Guys, it's just a possible wedding dress…"

Robyn stood before Zelena and Regina, surrounded by mirrors and lacy white furniture which her mother and step mother sat on looking actually offended at the ensemble Robyn had chosen

It had been a week since the two girls had announced their engagement. The whole town and even some of the other realms that belonged to New Storybrooke seemed to not only know about the engagement but also was willing to offer the step daughter of the Queen and daughter of, as much as her father hated the title, King their services and use of their businesses for the wedding.

For a 'reasonable' royal fee of course...

Zelena and Regina, who both considered themselves the residential Storybrooke fashion experts and truthfully between Ruby's hoochie shorts, Snows light colored cardigans and Emma's wife beaters, neither of them were particularly wrong, had volunteered to take the dark blonde archer out shopping for a dress for the engagement party Regina and Robin was throwing the young couple.

Robyn already had a faint idea of what she wanted to wear to the, admittedly, rather unorthodox wedding, and when she saw a similar looking dress in the boutique the two older women had dragged her too she wanted to try it on for her mother's. Both Regina and Zelena had put their Louis Vuitton and Prada shoe encased foot down HARD at the style that their daughter/step daughter had wanted to go with.

It was black and short. Very short. Two or three inches past the ass that Alice always pretended she wasn't staring at when Robyn walked by her, and tight as well, pushing her breasts up very high and tight without even needing a brassiere.

Regina scoffed in disbelief as she looked at her niece. "You… you look like… like-."

"Like a bloody street walker." Zelena finished for her sister. "It's not even an appropriate dress for your honeymoon!"

"Okay, I saw the illustrations in Henry's book of what you two used to wear… I mean if you wanna talk about showcasing the goods…" Robyn said as she twirled in the mirrors. "Hell, Regina, even now you have this modern chic sexiness going on. Not to mention what 'Roni' wore…"

"Yes, fine, my outfits may have been provocative but they befitted a Queen," Regina defended herself. "And I dress classy and modern, thank you. This… this just looks like you wanna go out clubbing with Ruby. Plus that color…"

"I can get it in a different color other than black, I just wanted to see how something like this would look. Plus didn't Dad wear green on his wedding day? That's not exactly traditional."

"He wore a green cape," Regina corrected. "The shirt was white and the pants were black."

"Ooo… think I could get married in a cape too?" Robyn asked with a sliver of excitement. "Like how cool would I look strolling down the aisle in a short ass dress and this badass cape? I'd look like the world's awesomest superhero."

"Why do you want a short dress?" Zelena demanded. "Why can't you just go with something traditional?"

"Because that's not me," Robyn argued. "Even getting dressed up for the coronation and this party is too much. I've never really been a long flowing dress kinda girl. Hell if I could get married in jeans and my green flannel I would."

"I know but this is your wedding day, Robyn," said Regina not unkindly. "I mean trust me, I know what it's like to get married wearing something I hate..."

To this day she still shuddered when she thought of the gaudy gigantic gown that had belonged to Leopold's first wife and then resized to fit Regina. The eighteen year old was too depressed and too heartbroken to help plan any of the wedding so when Leopold told her she was going to wear Eva's old wedding dress whole Cora glared at her from behind the King, DARING her to protest, Regina had just accepted with a humble nod.

It wasn't until years later that she realized just how sick and twisted her husband and mother had to be to have actually done that.

That was why, when she married Robin, her dress was the complete opposite of the extravagant gown she wore at her first wedding. It had been a sleek elegant sheath style wedding dress that she had chosen herself, with no ones input, not even her maid of honor Zelena. It was also a completely custom dress so no one had even tried it on prior to Regina, which made it hers and truly hers alone.

"I just don't want you to get something just for the sake of being different or to save yourself a day of discomfort," the Queen continued.

"We still got time to decide," Robyn said as she went back into the dressing room. "We got four months until the wedding after all."

"So you've already set the date then?" Zelena asked.

"Not totally but we definitely want it sometime in mid-July, a nice summer wedding?"

"That'll be really nice," said Regina as they waited for Robyn to reappear.

The archer came out of the dressing room now re-dressed in a plain brown shirt and jeans she had worn into the store, hanging the apparently offensive dress on the outside of the dressing room door.

Three agonizingly torturous slow hours of shopping later, Robyn was driving home with a new short sleeved blue dress decorated with black lace on the side that apparently looked 'stunning' and 'simply fantastic' on her, or so Regina and Zelena had said when she came out of the fitting room and Regina already had 'the perfect heels to match' so they hadn't needed to spend equally as many hours shoe shopping.

Robyn was happy just to get the shopping over with so she could go to lunch.

As she was driving back to the loft they both shared Robyn stopped at a stoplight. She waited impatiently for the frustratingly long light to turn green. Robyn really hated shopping. She took after her father in that way. She just hoped that Alice was having a better time than she was...

—-

Alice couldn't help the squeal of glee as she twirled happily in the gown that she pick out at the dress boutique. It was a beautiful deep red ball gown and reached the floor with a bell shaped skirt made of a rich heavy type material embroidered with rose petals.

The salesperson said that this kind of party, an 'engagement party' as Robyn's Step Mama slash Aunt called it, wasn't exactly a ball gown occasion, not to mention a big heavy ball gown was going to be hell to wear in the warm April month, but Alice didn't really care.

She loved dressing up in large elaborate dresses that made her feel like she was a princess, made her feel important, made her feel like she someone who was worthy of being with a King's daughter.

When she was in her tower her Papa would bring her expensive handmade gowns and dresses, corsets and skirts... It wasn't until she was much older did she realize that whenever he brought her the gorgeous dresses, he would 'not be hungry' for several days and only make enough food for Alice.  
He had willingly spent the money that was supposed to be for his food just to buy Alice her gowns so she could feel as beautiful as the wealthy ladies and royalty she watched in her telescope inside her tower.

Then in Hyperion Heights she had her brown skirt, her tights, white shirt flannel and the jacket Robin had stolen for her. That was it. Robin broke her into the laundromat near their shipping containers twice a week so she could wash her clothes.

She was forced to watch other girls and women like Victoria Belfrey walk around looking beautiful and put together in outfits without giant holes in it. Then when she moved into Rogers apartment he had bought her a few, looking back, unattractive outfits that he got from the used clothing store.

But, even in the cursed state, he made sure sure to tell her how beautiful she looked in the baggy striped shirts and Mom jeans that had probably belonged to a grandmother.

Here in Storybrooke though? She had her pick of the litter when it came to clothes. It also didn't hurt that Alice had Regina's no limit credit card and blessing to get 'whatever she needed' for the party and any other instance where 'nice' clothes were needed.

"It's beautiful!" Alice beamed as she twirled, the fabric of the dress making a nice 'swoosh' sound that was music to the blondes ears.

"Ms. Jones, are you SURE you wanna go with this dress?" the sales person asked once more. "I have this beautiful dress that's far more modern and much more appropriate-."

"I'll take the gown!" Alice interrupted, far too excited to let the saleswoman finish her pitch for the sleek modern dress.

So without another word the cashier rang up the purchase and sent the blonde on her way.

Alice skipped down the Storybrooke sidewalk back towards her shared apartment, as big a grin as she ever had ever worn on her face, the large dress slung over her shoulder.

Robyn was going to love it. Alice knew she would, she might even think she was a princess. Robyn was a princess too, after all. Her step mama slash aunt was Queen of the ENTIRE realm and her Papa was a King.

Robyn had tried explaining to Alice that her dad gave up any rights to the throne not even a week after his wedding and because of her, admittedly, distant blood relation to Regina, that if somehow she sat on the throne, pretty much all of her family and all of the Charmings would have had to have been wiped out.

But Alice hadn't really paid attention to the specifics. She just knew Robyn's Step Mama and Papa wore crowns occasionally which meant, in the blondes eyes, her love was most definitely a princess.

The eccentric adventurer was so lost in thought regarding what Robyn's reaction would be when she saw the gown that she didn't see the blonde hair blue eyed girl standing in the sidewalk looking down at her phone.

"I'm so sorry!" Alice apologized profusely as she and Hope collided, her dress sliding off her shoulder and Hopes phone falling to the sidewalk.

"You should be!" Hope snapped back. "Watch where you're going next time!"

Alice swallowed hard and nodded as she bent over and picked up the dress, grateful when she saw that the gown hadn't ripped.

"Great!" Hope grumbled as she picked up her phone which now wouldn't turn back on. "My brand new phones broken thanks to you."

"I'm sorry," Alice apologized again. "I didn't mean to break it. Maybe I can fix it!"

She grinned at the prospect at helping the woman her Papa called her sister and reached out to take the expensive iPhone from the saviors daughter, only to have Hope step away as if she'd been burned.

"Don't touch me!" she barked. "You were homeless for how long? Probably covered in dirt and nastiness…"

Alice's smile disappeared.

"I- no, I, Robyn's Papa would break into the gym near my container every morning so I could shower. 'Course I didn't know he was Robyn's Papa but-."

"Okay little bit of advice; 'my fiancé's homeless dad broke into a gym so I could get clean' Isn't exactly something to brag about."

Alice gave her a sad smile. "Right. Sorry, Sis, I-."

"Do NOT call me that!"

Alice blinked at the fellow blonde.

"But Papa said-."

"Your dad is a monster who tried to rape my mom. Feel free to take what he said with a grain of salt."

The adventurer shook her head again.

"No… no, Papa would never hurt anyone. Papa told me, he- he said all he wanted was true love's kiss. To heal his heart," she explained as of Hope hadn't heard it a hundred times before.

"You and him aren't even real," Hope told her, ignoring the excuse for the, in Hopes eyes, inexcusable actions.

"We are too real! We-!"

"You and your rapist daddy wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for my mom!"

Alice closed her eyes, her breathing hot and heavy.

"One… two…"

"What's going on?" Hope demanded, suddenly frightened. "What the hell are you doing?"

Her Papa has told Alice that when you get angry, you count to ten. You count to ten and you're no longer angry, you don't lose your temper with mean people.

"Three… Four… Five…"

"Stop it, you're freaking me out."

"Six… seven…"

"Stop! Quit it! Will you knock it off, you freak?!"

Hope pushed Alice in an attempt to get her to stop her counting, making her stumble and trip on the long dress, a heart shattering ' _RIIIP'_ echoing in the blondes ears as the dress ripped where the skirt and waist met.

"Hey!"

Both Hope and Alice turned and saw Robin running over to them and Hope rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms in front of her chest as the famous archer hurried over to the two girls.

"Everything alright?" asked Robin in his thick accent, looking between both girls.

Hope jabbed her finger at Alice.

"She's a psycho freak and she was counting down until she stabbed me or something!" She yelled. "She's lucky I don't call the cops!"

"That's not true!" Alice cried desperately. She didn't need Robyn's Papa thinking that she was some uncontrollable psychopath. "She insulted Papa so I, I- Papa said to count to ten so I don't get angry!"

"Oh bullshit, she was totally freaking out! She needs to get on some stronger meds or something!"

"I wasn't!"

"Alright, let's everyone calm down." Robin looked between both girls, remembering that not only was he dealing with Robyn's fiancée, he was also dealing with the Sheriff's daughter who was just as much a young girl as the eccentric adventurer.

"Hope, why don't you go on home okay?" said Robin as gentle as he could, "Alice, I'll walk you back to your apartment."

Hope crossed her arms in front of her chest, somehow managing to look down her nose at the man who was taller than her.

"You can't tell me what to do. My parents are the sheriffs, you're just some burlap loving thief who would be sleeping in dirt if it wasn't for your psycho wife."

Robin pursed his lips, feeling a very rare anger starting to heat up. He could have cared less about whatever petty insult she threw at him but when she insulted Regina?

He might have to count to ten himself...

"Yes I'm very well aware of what I am, Hope. Just as I'm sure you're well aware that the Queen outranks the Sheriffs. So I'm pretty sure the husband of the Queen outranks the daughter of Sheriffs."

Hope pursed her lips before she just walked away, purposely slamming into a tearful Alice.

Robin waited until the young woman was out of earshot when he turned towards the blonde. "You okay?"

Alice sniffed, shaking her head as she picked up the dress, running her hand along the jagged rip.

"My dress," she sniffed as she showed him the tear. "For the engagement party, it ripped. Robyn's gonna look amazing and I'm gonna show up with my clothes looking all ripped like when I was cursed again."

Robin looked at the dress for a moment, pursing his lips. "That little tear? I can fix that."

Alice raised a brow as she wiped away her tears.

"YOU know how to sow?"

"Marian taught me," he explained. "I wouldn't allow my men to steal for themselves and we couldn't afford a new shirt every time one of them snagged it on a branch so we had to improvise."

"And you'll make it pretty right? As pretty as Robyn's gonna look? She deserves someone pretty," she added with a downward glance.

Robin just smiled at her.

"She has someone pretty already but yes I will."

Alice beamed at the famous archer before she threw her arms around his neck, any sadness and anger at Hope gone.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!"

Robin just chuckled and hugged her back. "You're welcome, Alice. Now come on, I'll walk you home."

Alice and Robin began walking down the sidewalk, Robin taking the dress and carrying it over his shoulder.

"Hey can you do me a favor?" asked Alice. "Can you not tell Robyn what happened?"

"Of course but why?"

Alice looked back behind her at the retreating blonde in the distance.

"Because…"

"Because why?"

Alice turned back to look up at the thief.

"Because I don't want her mad at my sister…"

—-

"Hey, Hope," Emma greeted as she looked up from the newspaper.

 _ **!SLAM!**_ went the front door

"Whoa, Kid! You okay?"

Hope ignored her mother's inquiries as she stormed up the stairs to her room, hiding the tears in her baby blue eyes.

Emma quickly abandoned her spot at the table and hurried up the stairs after her daughter.

"Hey, Hope, what's going on? What happened?"

"Leave me alone!" Hope snapped, her voice betraying the tears she was trying to hide.

"Kid-."

 _ **!SLAM!**_ went her bedroom door followed by the click of her lock.

Hope let out a sob as she fell on the bed, burying her face in her down feather pillow to muffle her cries from her mother.

It wasn't fair. The man who had hurt her family, who tried to MURDER her father and RAPE her mother was loved by everyone, including her own goddam parents. Not to mention his psycho freak wish daughter who wasn't even real, she gets love and happiness with that stupid bitch Robyn, they get an engagement party in a goddamn mansion that she already knew her parents were gonna force her to go to.

What did Hope get? She got to call the woman who made her mother and orphan and who stole her own brother, 'Your Majesty'. She had to bow down to the woman who tried to kill both her parents and grandparents multiple times.

Her grandparents should be the Queen and King, not that revenge obsessed bitch and her forest smelling husband.

They deserved it. Regina didn't.

It wasn't fair. Hope deserved happiness WAY more than Robyn and Alice did. Her family deserved happiness more than the stupid Mills. Fuck that rapist and his Wish daughter and that stupid 'Queen' too.

After a while the tears ceased and Hope had leaned against her headboard. She rolled her eyes when she noticed that sometime during her cry fest Emma had slid a cookie on a napkin underneath the door to try to make her feel better.

Hope didn't want a cookie, she wanted a boyfriend.

She wanted someone to make her as happy as her dad made her mom or her grandpa made her grandma.

She wanted someone who would see what she saw when it came to Regina and The Wish Jones and even Robyn and realized she wasn't the villain in this situation.

Someone who realized evil didn't always look evil and that sometimes it just stares you right in the face and you don't even realize it.

A slow growing smirk appeared on Hopes lips as she grabbed her old phone from her desk drawer and turned it on. She waited impatiently for it to boost up and when it did she dialed the well memorized number.

"Hey you," she practically purred when the person on the other line picked up. "It's Hope. Listen, I need a favor. A really, really big favor…"


	6. Chapter 6

"I brought hot cocoa and cupcakes."

Hope grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder.

"Thanks but I'm already running late."

"Come on," Henry prompted. "Mom said you had a bad day."

"Mom's exaggerating."

"So you didn't come home in tears?

"I did."

"But you didn't have a bad day?"

"Nope."

Henry rolled his eyes at his sisters persistence, gently rattling the box. "They're strawberry cream…"

Hope pursed her lips for a moment before she rolled her eyes to the ceiling of her kitchen.

"Fine."

"Awesome!"

"No one says awesome anymore."

Henry put the box of cupcakes on the table and opened the box to the deliciously pink frosting topped cakes, Hopes all time favorite .

"This is why we need to hang out more, so that you can keep me up to date with the latest trends."

The blonde girl reached into the box and pulled out one of the cupcakes.

"Well if you didn't spend all the time with the Hoods and that fake blonde psycho we could."

Henry's smile fell as his sister took a sip of cocoa.

"You realize Roland and Robyn are my step siblings right?"

"Right, and I'm your ACTUAL sister. Robyn has made my life hell since we were in middle school."

"Who's the one who broke her bow?"

Hope leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"See? Right there! This is why we don't hang out anymore, Henry, I tell you that she makes me MISERABLE and all I get is 'well what did you do to her?' Like why can't any of you, just once, go 'oh Hope I'm sorry, that sucks. You're right, Hope, Robyn is a bitch to you. Hey, Hope it's totally fucking normal that you don't love the woman that made your mother an orphan."

"I get it," Henry interrupted but the blonde wasn't finished quite yet.

"Gee, Hope, we know how shitty it is to have everyone call the child of the man who almost killed your father your sister, we won't do it anymore'. Instead all of you bend over backwards to find reasons to make ME look like the bad guy for not fawning over that shitty ass family and those fake wish freaks."

Hope wiped her mouth and threw her napkin down on the table.

"Thanks for the cupcake and cocoa but I'm over this little bit of sibling bonding."

Henry reached out and grabbed hold of her hand as she stood up from her chair.

"Stop! Stop, come on I'm sorry."

"No you aren't."

"Yes I am. Come on, sit down and share a cupcake with me."

Hope glared at him for a moment before she flopped back down in her seat. Henry took a deep breath as he took a sip of his own cocoa.

"Regina's my mom too," he began carefully.

 _Too bad the adoption wasn't even legal,_ she thought to herself but not wanting to get into THAT particular argument again she kept that to herself.

The first time she told Henry that, it had ended with Regina showing up at her parents house at 2 in the morning angrier than the blonde fourteen year old had ever seen her and she reminded Hope EXACTLY who her brother's adoptive mother used to be.

Regina conjured a fireball, her father had pulled a sword on her, Emma threatened to kick the shit out of the brunette, and, once again, the families didn't talk for several months.

"Robyn and Roland are my step dads kids," Henry continued. "I'm gonna be close to them, Hope."

Hope struggled to bite back her tears.

"But I'm your ACTUAL sister, and you treat them better than you treat me."

"That is not true."

"Yes it is. Remember when I was nineteen and wanted to go out with coffee with you before I went back to school but you couldn't because you had to go to the Rabbit Hole with Roland."

"It was Marians birthday, he was feeling upset and wanted a drinking buddy."

"And you're his only friend?"

"No but I'm the only one of his friends who knows what it's like to want to celebrate a parents birthday with them and you can't because they aren't here."

Hope glanced down at the table again, lightly treading across one of the scratches in the wood.

"I'm sorry," she told him softly.

Henry shrugged, pushing down the old familiar ache in his heart.

"It's fine. But…" Henry sighed, his words faltering. He reached across the table and grabbed hold of her hand. "They're my family. But... you're my little sister, you're always gonna be my little sister, and it's my job to look out for you. Me being close to my other family doesn't mean that I'm any less your brother. Apart from Lucy and Ella, you're my favorite person in every realm."

Tears filled Hopes eyes as she blinked them away.

"And hey, listen." Henry waited until the blonde was looking up at him. "I know that you haven't really forgiven my mom for what she did to our mom or Grandma and Grandpa and you haven't forgiven Alice's dad for what he tried to do to your dad, and that's okay, no one's forcing you too."

"Mom and Dad are. You are, Grandpa is, Grandma REALLY is…" She glanced back down at her pink cupcake. "It's like because they forgave them it means I should too and because I don't, I'm this terrible person."

"You're not a terrible person. You just… tend to take after your Dad's side of the family when it comes to holding grudges."

Hope let out a sad laugh as she blinked away her tears, not wanting her mascara to run.

"That's not funny."

"What are you talking about, I'm hilarious."

"Oh my God you sound just like Grandpa."

Henry grinned as he took another bite of cupcake.

"But, as much as you hate it, don't think I've forgotten when you and Robyn were best friends."

Another roll of her eyes. "Oh my God, for like two minutes in grade school! Then she became a bitch in middle school," she finished with a mutter.

"Nor have I forgotten when Hook found your notebook in eighth grade-."

"Oh don't EVEN!"

Henry grinned at the blush that overtook his sisters face.

"And you had written over the entire inside cover with 'Mrs. Roland Hood', 'Mrs. Hope Hood'."

"You need to stop talking."

"'Mr. and Mrs. Roland Hood', 'Hope of Locksley'."

"You are a loser and no one loves you."

"'Hope Swan hyphen Jones hyphen Hood'."

"I hate you."

Henry laughed at the glare that his sister was throwing at the author. It was something akin to a kitten trying to intimidate a lion.

"The ONLY reason I even considered being with that loser was I thought it would piss off Robyn. That's it."

"Uh huh. I still say you two would have been cute together."

Hope scoffed as she took another bite of her cupcake.

"He grew up to live with other men in a tent in the woods and makes a living selling CDs and giving guitar lessons."

"So?"

One last bite of her cupcake as she stood up from the chair and made her way round to her brother, giving him a quick peck on the cheek as thanks for the cupcake and cocoa.

"It'd never work."

"Why not?"

"Because he's poor and smells like forest," she told Henry before she grabbed her purse and headed out to meet with the person she had phoned earlier.

—-

"I brought whiskey and weed."

"You are about an hour late."

Robyn smirked as she walked over to the spare lawn chair next to the fire her brother had started.

"You got the invitation to the engagement party right?"

"Next Friday, 6 PM, Dads and Reginas."

Robin confirmed with a nod as she watched her brother take a hit from his pipe.

"You realize if Dad finds out you're smoking again he's gonna kick your ass," Robyn said as Roland passed her his pipe. "He won't care that you're almost thirty, you told him you'd quit."

"Oh please, I can outrun the old man in my sleep."

"Exactly. In your dreams you can, not put here in the real world."

Roland chuckled as he grabbed two plastic cups from inside his tent while Robyn inhaled the smoke from the forest green glass pipe. He filled them up with the cheap brown liquor she had brought and handed one to Robyn before he sat down back in his spot. He took a long sip of the liquid as his sister fought to keep the smoke in her lungs as long as she could before she exhaled with a few coughs.

"Don't tell Regina I told you this," she said as she passed the pipe back over to him. "But when she was Roni she used to smoke."

Roland's eyes went wide and Robyn laughed at the shocked expression on his face.

"You're fucking with me."

Robyn shook her head, a huge grin on her face. "Me and her used to smoke together out behind the bar when the place was almost empty. She stopped when she remembered who she was and when I woke up she made me SWEAR not to tell Dad."

Roland laughed as he took another hit.

"Well shit, get it Regina… I think I would have gotten along with Roni, I wish I could have met her."

"You probably would have ended up hitting on her."

"Probably but she hopefully would have had the good sense to turn me down. Thanksgivings at our house are awkward enough."

The two sat in comfortable silence for a long while as they slowly sipped their whiskey and smoked from his pipe.

"Hey Robyn?" Roland said after a while had passed.

"Hmm?"

"...Ever feel like… that we're just two giant disappointments?"

"This is why I don't smoke with you any longer, you end up getting all emotional and sappy."

"I mean it." Robyn rolled her eyes as Roland sat up in his chair. "Like the whole damn world knows Dad's name, they all know 'the Evil Queen', they all know my parents were a couple, they all know who your mom is… Then we're just… us."

Robyn pursed her lips as she looked over at him. She and her brother had struggled with that particular problem since they were little. It was a large reason why Roland wanted to be a famous musician, so the world would knownhis name along with their family. Robyn had it a little easier, she had their father's name but it still stung when she told outsiders her name and they responded with 'oh like the British guy!'

Robyn took a sip of her whiskey to drag her out of her rather depressing memories.

"A little. But hey, no one knows Hope either and we're WAY cooler than her."

"That's another thing. You ever think we're kinda harsh on her? I mean she did kinda have a shitty life."

Astonished would have been putting what Robyn was mildly. She blinked once. Twice.

"First off, we are not smoking together again. You're WAY too sappy. Second, she had the most perfect fucking life of anyone in Storybrooke!"

"That's exactly it. Everyone else has some horrible twisted ass tragic tale, Henry's dad is dead, Emma was an orphan for twenty eight years, my sisters mom killed my mom, Regina, I mean holy shit! Hell even Neal was kidnapped when he was three minutes old. Then there's Hope. She just… kinda grew up sheltered, boring, no curses, no deaths... she's just there."

"That's literally the exact opposite of a shitty life."

"It is but I mean… everyone kinda ignored her because she had such this perfect upbringing, no one really worried about her. I don't know, it's just kinda sad."

Robyn rolled her eyes to the heavens.

"You're just saying that because you used to wanna fuck her snd that weed is making you sentimental."

"You are talking out your ass, Robyn."

"Hold up, who's the one who got totally plastered when he was 23 and told me he 'would go to the ends of the earth and time for her'?"

Roland rolled his eyes as he poured himself another cup of whiskey.

"I was drunk, it doesn't count."

"Oh it SO does!"

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it-."

"Roland!"

Both Robyn and Roland looked towards the sound of the voice that had yelled his name and saw a very irate looking Little John walking towards him. Their father's best friend pointed towards the pipe in the musicians hand.

"What the hell did I tell you about that?" John barked.

Roland shifted guiltily before he cleared his throat.

"Don't steal from your good stash?"

"That's right!"

The large man sat down in the free chair besides Robyn and Roland passed him the pipe.

"Don't tell your father by the way," he said as he pulled out the baggie Roland had left untouched and refilled the glass pipe. "He'll kick all our asses."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot of OQ or Curious Archer I know but this fic is going a WHOLE other direction than what I thought it was originally gonna go in. Anyway please Review. Engagement Party next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I discovered how hard it is to write a Wish!Realm character and the actual character in a chapter together. So Wish Hook is known as Rogers, OG Hook is known as Hook and I know this will piss off some Wish Hook fans but that is legit the only way I know how to differentiate between them so I'm sorry, please don't hate me and please Review.

Robyn hated wearing dresses.

She sighed as she smoothed out the already creaseless ensemble as she looked herself over in their bedroom mirror, frowning at herself. She hated this color, this deep dark midnight blue and she hated the black lace on the sides that, according to Regina, slimmed her hips, she hated the cut of it...

It was a relatively simple dress. Tight but not obnoxiously outrageous, it showed no cleavage but at the same time it didn't look conservative with short sleeves that just covered her shoulders.

She wanted to wear something in the earthy tones she and worn her whole life, brown or forest green or a dark orange maybe but Regina and her mother refused. It was a formal party, the two women said, you wore elegant colors to a formal party.

Robyn had let her hair down and had done her makeup in the simple neutral colors she was so fond of but still she looked off. It didn't look like her.

"Alice?" the archer called out as she slipped on Regina's midnight blue stiletto.

How the hell was she going to walk in these things all night?

"Babe, you ready?"

"Two seconds!" came the reply from the bathroom.

Robyn grabbed her purse as well as her fiancées backpack. She had never upgraded from the Vietnam war era backpack she had brought with her from the Heights.

Just as Robyn was about to head downstairs to the first floor of the loft the bathroom door opened and a nervous Alice stepped out.

"Do you like it?" the curly hair blonde asked in a small shy voice as she twirled in the brilliant red ball gown. "I- I know your aunt slash step mom wanted me in something modern for the party but this was so beautiful and you deserve someone as beautiful as you."

But the archer couldn't find the words to respond to her words or what she was seeing in front of her.

She was far too busy falling in love all over again.

"If- if you don't like it I um- I'm sure I can't find something else in my closet-," Alice stuttered nervously. "I mean I can wear my brown skirt, that's… that's modern innit?"

Robyn slowly walked over to her fiancée, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her as close as the bulky ball gown would allow.

"You… are the most stunning woman I have ever seen," Robyn told her, her voice taking on a rather deep husky tone that told the adventurer exactly what she thought of her dress.

Alice's cheeks flushed red as Robyn kissed her softly.

"You really like it?" asked Alice again, being answered with another kiss.

"I do. You look beautiful, Tower Girl."

She beamed at her fiancée and grabbed hold of her hand. "In that case, I believe we have a party to get to."

—-

Robin hated wearing suits.

He hated the feel of the rich silky material of the black slacks and the white dress shirt, he hated the way the tie seemed to want to choke him. Not to mention as an archer he liked keeping his sleeves as loose and comfortable as possible and dress shirts and suit jackets weren't exactly designed with firing a longbow in mind.

But he promised Regina he would dress up tonight for the party she was throwing his daughter. Plus she promised him in return that 'Roni' would make a return in the bedroom.

How on earth could he pass that up?

He double checked himself in the mirror that hung in their bedroom before he headed down to the kitchen where the scent of Regina's miraculous cooking hit him like a wonderful smelling tidal wave.

Not to mention the woman cooking the food looked just as mouthwatering as the food she was preparing.

Her hair was curled with one half pinned back and the other half framed her face while her makeup was a touch darker than she normally wore it. The dress was a short sleeved off the shoulders black dress that came down a few inches past her knees but had a slit in the front that came up high enough just to tease a bit of her thigh with a gold metal chain belt to complete the look.

She was breathtaking.

Regina didn't hear the unusually stealthy thief walk into the kitchen nor did she notice him walk up behind her until his arms were wrapped around her waist and his lips had found the crook of her apple and cinnamon scented neck.

"You look stunning, M'lady," he told her with a whisper that implied exactly what Robin wanted to do to his wife, following his words with a kiss to the fragrant skin.

Regina grinned as she leaned her head back against his shoulder and moaned softly as he peppered the sensitive skin with soft kisses.

"I have to get the crostinis out of the oven," she told him, perpetrating her words with a low groan as she twisted in his arms so he could give her a good and proper kiss. "And you need to make sure the apple tartlets are all set out."

"Couldn't you just use magic to prepare all this?" He asked as his lips moved to crook of her neck, letting his scruff scratch her skin as his lips lightly suck on the skin and being rewarded with another moan and her nails pleasantly digging into his back through the god awful suit. "And we could have a little more time together before everyone gets here?" he asked as he slipped his hands up and under her dress.

With a quick wave of Regina's hand the apple tartlets were now perfectly placed on the carrying trays, the crostinis were out of the oven and elegantly covered in ricotta, kale and mushrooms, and the Greek style lamb meatballs, heirloom tomatoes dipped in balsamic, and little pieces of herbed feta were all on their individual little toothpicks and all placed on their separate trays.

A lot could be said for Regina but let no one accuse her of not throwing a good party.

Robin grinned as he backed her up against the counter, keeping in mind not to get her dress dirty.

"God I love magic," he breathed as he buried his hands in her hair and kissed her.

A soft 'poof' of green smoke.

"Hello, sis and father of my child."

Robin groaned as he reluctantly pulled away from his Queen.

"God I hate magic."

Regina just chuckled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek as she pushed past him.

"You know you ARE allowed to knock Zelena," the brunette told her as she grabbed a bottle of chilled champagne and began pouring it into the individual glasses, motioning for Robin and Zelena to do the same. "You don't just have to poof in whenever you want."

"Yes but what would be the fun in that?" the red headed witch said as she grabbed one of the bottles and began pouring.

She was dressed in a silky emerald green cocktail dress with thick straps and a V cut in the front with her wild red curls pulled into a small bun.

"The fun would come from respecting the sanctity of our home and asking permission before you enter," Robin said with a bit of spite.

Zelena looked as if she were mulling over his words for a moment before she shook his head.

"No that doesn't sound like much fun at all."

Regina withheld an eye roll as she handed a bottle of champagne to Robin.

"You two need to get along for just one night," Regina told them. "This is for Robyn and Alice."

"I don't know about your forest smelling husband but I'm perfectly capable of getting along with anyone. I'm a delightful delicate thing."

Rather than get into a verbal sparring match with the mother of his daughter, Robin just rolled his eyes and continued to pour.

"Whatever you say," Regina said with her own roll of her eyes. "But Robyn and Alice are gonna be here around 5:30, everyone else should be here around 6:00." She turned to Robin. "Your men actually own suits right? And they know to wear them?"

Regina still hadn't quite forgiven them for showing up at her wedding in their finest jeans, which to them meant the ones with the least amount of holes, T-shirt's, their leather or carhart jackets and hoodies beneath them.

But it had been hands down the funnest reception she had ever been too.

Robin cleared his throat before he nodded, avoiding the Queens eyes.

"Of course."

Robin knew his men hated wearing suits as much as he did. He wasn't even sure John or any of them actually owned anything other than leather, jeans or cotton, but he had told them to 'dress up' for the party. What they took that to mean was out of Robins hands.

"Good," said Regina. She raised a glass of champagne as did Robyn's parents. "Then here's to having a great party…"

—-

"Swan, you look-."

"I know."

Hook smirked as he pulled on his dark red velvet jacket over his black dress shirt, watching his wife double check herself in the reflective pan. Her hair was hanging down in soft blonde waves and she had on a knee length tight dress that matched the deep red color of Hooks jacket with thin spaghetti straps over her shoulder.

"What time is the party?" Hook asked.

"Six, so we still got a little time."

"Hmmm… I wonder what we could do with a little bit of time," Hook practically purred as he wrapped his arms around Emma's waist.

The sudden appearance of the sounds of footsteps on the stairs made Hook pull away from his wife and both of them turned to their daughter who walked into the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" asked Emma as she took in her daughters appearance.

Hope was wearing a light pink lace halter babydoll style dress with matching kitten pumps, her blonde hair pulled into a loose bun with several perfectly placed pieces falling into her pale face.

"The engagement party?" she said as if it was obvious.

"You said you didn't wanna go," Emma reminded her. "As a matter of fact, you were ADAMANT about not going."

Hope shrugged as she grabbed the pan from her mother to check her own makeup.

"I can't change my mind?"

"Aye, Princess, you can it's just not like you," Hook said as he watched her get her lip gloss from her clutch and reapplied.

"Well I decided…" Hope smacked her lips. "Even if that blonde bag of crazy isn't my sister, Robyn is still my brothers step sister and Regina and Robin are your friends… I should go to support you three."

Emma crossed her arms in front of her chest as she looked at her daughter.

"What are you up to?"

"Hmm?"

"You. You're up to something."

"I'm not up to anything."

"Yes you are, I know you."

"I'm not up to anything, Mommy. I swear."

"Did you forget about my superpower?"

Hope rolled her eyes as she turned to face her parents.

"You're the one who said to be less bitchy to them."

"I did not… use that word," Emma said as Hook raised his brow at his wife. "But-."

"Oh my God, do you want me to come or not?"

Emma rubbed her brow. "I want you to go but I want you to go because you want to not because you have something planned."

"I don't have anything planned. I promise."

Hope grabbed her purse and threw it over her shoulder.

"I actually have to go pick up my date."

That got her father's attention.

"Date?" asked Hook with a darkness in his voice that always made an appearance when it came to his daughter and boys.

He told Robin often how lucky he was that he not only had a son but also that his daughter knew fairly early on that she was interested in the girls in her class instead of the boys. The thief just laughed and promised the pirate that apart from dating boys, every issue Hook faced with Hope, Robin was facing with Robyn.

"What date? Why do you have a date?"

Hope shrugged. "Just a date."

"With who?"

"With someone"

Hope kissed the unamused Hook on the cheek. "Bye, Daddy." A kiss on Emma's cheek. "Bye Mommy. I'll meet you guys at the party."

"With who?" Hook asked again only to be given a sweet smile from his little princess as an answer before she walked out.

—-

Regina smiled and laughed easily as she offered horderves to her guests, joining in on the individual conversations as her mansion filled up with guests, most from the Storybrooke realm but a select few guests from the other realms of stories.

Robin mostly hung out with his men who had, as Robin predicted, showed up in almost identical outfits to what they wore to his wedding.

Jeans, hoodies, jackets, unshaven…

The Queen, after a look filled with fire directed to the Merry Men, waved her hand and her husband's friends were now dressed in rather spiffy suits.

"They'll come off after a week or so," she promised the stunned group of men with a wide smile before she held up the metal tray in her hands. "Herbed feta anyone? Thyme, fennel, olive oil, a bit of crushed red pepper for some kick… No? Okay." Another smile. "Enjoy yourselves."

Robin couldn't help help but smirk as he watched his wife walk away and afterwards merely took a sip of his champagne and said with a smugness that was unmatched, "I told you to dress up…"

Regina had gone far easier on her step daughter's fiancée outfit. It also helped that she saw the dress when Robin had, as promised, sewed up the tear so she was prepared for the ball gown when Alice showed up hand in hand with Robyn wearing it.

While Alice spoke happily and eccentrically to the guests, Robyn held back, choosing mainly to associate with her cousin and step brother. While she had been a popular girl in high school she was never a fan of being the center of attention.

After her latest round with the horderves Regina made her way over to Robin.

"Where's Roland?" Regina asked her husband in a low voice, drawing his attention away from his men. "It's almost seven, he's an hour late to his own sister's engagement party."

"He'll be here soon." Seeing the distressed look on his wife's face Robin wrapped his arms around her waist. "The party is going fine, everyone is enjoying themselves. There's nothing to worry about, Regina."

He finished with a soft kiss to her lips before someone walking in caught his attention and he smiled at the man who had just made his way over to the two hosts.

"Ah, Rogers, good of you to come," Robin said as he shook the hand of Alice's father.

Rogers smiled and gave a polite nod towards the man who had looked out for his daughter while they were cursed. He wore a black velvet jacket with dark red accents over a black vest and white dress shirt.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Mate"

"So how have you been since we got to Storybrooke?" Regina asked as she handed the man a glass of champagne.

"Thank you, and I've been good. Storybrooke is… quite quaint."

Robin laughed at the man's answer.

"You sound exactly like Robyn. She uses that word when she doesn't want to use the word 'boring'."

Rogers chuckled as he took a sip of champagne and looked over at his daughter and smiled at the animated way she was talking to Henry and Jacinda.

"Honestly? It doesn't matter where I am, just as long as Alice and I are together."

Robin nodded in agreement as he followed the pirates line of sight and he looked at Robyn trying her best to hide herself away from the crowd.

"I know the feeling."

"Robin, Regina."

The small group turned towards the voice and saw Emma and Hook walking over to them.

"Emma," Regina greeted the blonde with a smile as she went over and gave her a hug. "You made it!"

"Of course we did," the blonde said with a smile as she returned the friendly embrace. "I don't think we had the chance to tell you congratulations yet. You too, Robin."

"Thank you," Robin said with a polite nod. "I still can't believe how grown up Robyn is."

"I know, they're all growing up… Hell Lucy's gonna be eleven next month," Emma muttered, still not quite used to the idea of having a grandchild.

"God, I remember when Henry was that age. He tried to destroy magic with dynamite."

"Remind me, was that before or after he got kidnapped by Peter Pan?" Hook asked.

"Before the kidnapping but after Emma and her mother got sucked into a hat alongside a wraith," Regina answered

"That sounds like quite the childhood," Rogers said. "Poor lad."

Hook and Emma finally noticed the man standing besides Robin. Rogers gave a polite inclination of his head to the blonde and his doppelgänger.

"Emma… Hook."

Emma smiled awkwardly at the man who was a twin of her husband.

"... Yeah, still not quite used to this… But it's nice to see you again, Rogers," the blonde greeted the man using the name they had more or less used for this version of Hook.

"Congratulations on Alice's engagement," Hook told the man, wrapping his arm protectively around Emma's waist.

While Emma had forgiven Rogers for the desperate last chance effort he had taken in order to heal his heart and get back to his daughter, Hook was known to hold a grudge a tad longer than his wife.

They got along with Alice just fine, she was a perfectly nice polite girl the few times they had met, and over time Hook had forgiven Rogers for the attempted murder, but he always felt the need to stay rather close to the blonde whenever the couple happened to run into the man.

"Thank you. I know Alice is looking forward to asking her… sister… of sorts… to be in the wedding party."

Emma opened her mouth and closed it before she glanced over at Hook, both of them unsure how to tell Rogers that the only person Hope disliked more than him and his daughter was the woman Alice was marrying followed by Robyn's step mother.

It was Robin who spoke first.

"I know Alice likes to say she is, but… she knows there isn't really any true connection between her and Hope right? Or between you and Hook?"

"Well…" Emma began. "I mean… there kind of is. Ish… I think?"

Robin shook his head.

"I would have words with any man who said that the person married to the Evil Queen is somehow Roland or Robyn's father."

Robin and the Wish Realm version of himself had met once when Regina had brought him back to their world, not being able to stand that any version of her soulmate was unhappy, unknowing that he was an dishonorable dishonest scoundrel who stole from himself and before he met and married the Queen hadn't met an even halfway willing tavern wench that he didn't like.

It had ended with both men nearly killing the other.

When Regina combined the realms Robin was worried about seeing his lesser half again but so far they had stayed in the Enchanted Forest realm and hadn't ventured into Storybrooke.

Yet.

"Yeah but I mean that's different," Emma argued.

"How?"

"It… just is I guess."

"Speaking of," said Regina, cutting off any further argument, although she was a bit relieved that for once a branch off of a terribly complicated family tree didn't involve her, "where is Hope? She sent in her RSVP."

"She said she was going to meet us here," Hook told the Queen. "She has a date."

"Oh ho, that is exciting news… Who is the lucky man?" Rogers asked.

"We have no idea, she wouldn't tell us."

"Well I'm sure she-..." but Regina's words were cut short when she caught sight of who just walked in.

Or, more importantly, what they were wearing.

Regina forced a smile to her lips as she grabbed hold of Robins hand.

"If you'll excuse us, another guest just walked in. Robin?"

A friendly bow, a clap on Rogers shoulder and the thief followed the Queen to a more secluded corner.

"What's happening?" the outlaw asked.

Regina twisted him around so he could see who had made the Queen so furious. His own blue eyes went wide as he watched Roland walk over to the table where the champagne was, wearing tight black leather pants, black leather boots with metal studs and chains wrapped around them, and his black leather jacket covering a tight black fishnet top.

He had also decided to dye his hair jet black rather than keep it the dark brown of his mother.

"I'm going to murder your son and bury his body under my apple tree," Regina told him in a hushed voice rather darkly.

"I'll talk to him," Robin promised. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before he walked over to his slightly wobbling son. Roland smiled widely at his approaching father.

"Hey, Dad! Sorry I'm late, the car wouldn't start, then-."

"Do you realize you're humiliating Regina right now?" Robin cut him off. "She specifically asked you to not only dress up but to show up on time. You really couldn't do either?"

"I told you the car wouldn't start. And this is how I like to dress."

"What, you think I like wearing this suit?" He nodded over to Robyn. "You think your sister likes wearing that dress? We don't. But we did it for your stepmother. Any particular reason you couldn't do the same?"

Roland just shrugged. "Maybe I'm just not a pushover sell out?"

Robin pursed his lips for a moment.

"... How much have you had to drink?"

"Come on, I'm not drunk."

"I can smell the whiskey on you, Roland."

Roland just laughed and shook his head.

"You… are you something else, Pops." He clapped his father rather hard on the shoulder and leaned in closer to him. "How about this, how about you go fuck the woman who murdered my mom for a second time while I enjoy the party?"

Robins eyes went wide with shock as Roland reached over and grabbed one of the meatballs and popped it in his mouth.

"Mmm… I love lamb."

Without another word Roland walked away from his father, a stumble in his usually surefooted step, downing half the glass of champagne in one gulp.

The musician made his way over to his sister, raising his half empty glass fairly high.

"Robyn! Whatsup, Sis?!" He hugged her tight, twisting her around and nearly making both of them stumble. "My baby sister is getting married!"

"Whoa, Roland, you okay?" Robyn asked as she steadied herself and her brother. She sniffed the air and cringed. "Dude, you smell like the inside of a bottle."

"You and Dad are exactly the same you know that? You know he used to keep a whole damn bottle in his quiver?"

Robyn narrowed her eyes at her brother.

God she hated when he would get drunk, especially on whiskey. He would always turn into this angry bitter person and most of time his anger was directed either at their father or Robyn's mother.

"No he didn't."

"Yeah he did. After my mom died, or well the first time she died, he used to get plastered when he thought no one was looking. He'd just… he'd fucking leave me with John and go off to go get drunk, would tell them he was scooping out a job. He'd be gone for fucking DAYS. Hell one day he actually packed up all his shit and was just going to abandon me completely until Tuck stopped him."

"You're lying."

Roland laughed at his sister's naivety.

"What? You believe that he was always this honorable hero who wouldn't dump his kid off on his best friend? Or maybe you don't believe I wouldn't be abandoned? Trust me, I'm very, very abandonable."

Robyn then came to a very sudden realization.

"Where's Esmeralda?"

Roland's face fell as he took another drink of champagne.

"Doesn't matter. She fucking abandoned me too."

"Roland-."

"Yeah I'm done celebrating you finding your happy ending." He clapped her rather hard on the shoulder. "Enjoy the party."

"Roland, wait," she said as she grabbed hold of his arm only for him to wrench out of her grasp.

"Get the fuck off me, man."

Robyn glanced around nervously before her eyes fell on Regina walking quickly over to them, a stormy look in her eyes.

She went to grab hold of his shoulders but he stumbled back away from her.

"Listen to me, listen… if you don't calm down, Regina's going to-."

Then in a poof of purple smoke her brother was gone as was Regina.

They both reappeared in the upstairs bathroom, Roland in the tub and Regina safely outside of it.

Roland groaned as he put his hand to his head.

"What the hell are you-?"

Then the cold water hit him like a shock.

"Jesus!" he shouted as he tried to clamber out of the tub only to be stopped with a force field that Regina had put up.

"You are going to stay in here until you sober up," she told him with a sharp tone her step children rarely heard from her.

"Let me out of here!" he barked as he tried to back away from the cold spray. "Let me out of here, Regina, now!"

"Then when you're done," she said as if he hadn't spoken, "you're going to apologize to your sister and to your father."

"Regina!"

Without another word she turned and walked out, shutting the door with a wave of her hand.

Regina made her way back downstairs but before she could get too lost in the crowd Henry approached her, holding up his hands as if in surrender.

"Okay, Mom, don't freak out, but Hope… kinda brought someone…"

"The invitations did say feel free to bring a plus one," Regina reminded him. "Besides Emma and Hook already told me she was bringing a date."

"I know but… she brought someone… kind of…"

"What? Henry, who'd she bring?"

Henry opened his mouth when Robyn's loud and angry, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" rang out.

Regina as well as half the party turned towards the entryway where Hope clutched the arm of a man Regina as well as the rest of the party knew all too well.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me…" Regina muttered darkly, glaring at the man that Hope had brought…


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long update wait but there's been a ton of OQ theme weeks and that's where my focus has been. Hopefully this makes up for it *heart emoji*

There were quite a number of bothersome things that Robin Hood could tolerate without too much effort on his part.

Someone not thanking a person who had assisted them, people being rude in general, not looking a man in the eye when they spoke to him and not cleaning up after themselves being some of his biggest pet peeves.

However he usually just replied with a raised brow to show just how much it had irritated him and very rarely would it lead to anything more than the other person rolling their eyes before they corrected the behavior Robin thought needed fixing. His children especially had been met with many of these looks as they grew from children into young adults and even into adulthood.

He was an honorable man, after all. Honorable men did not start fights just because something had upset them.

However; there were some things that he just couldn't let slide or couldn't just raise a brow and expected the person to right themselves.

He had a rather short list of things that Robin set aside his honor and integrity for and required him righting the situation with a bow or a fist. There was only two things on that list as a matter of fact.

The first was someone threatening or hurting his children or Regina and, grudgingly, Zelena by default for the sake of his daughter and wife.

The second was a man laying hands on a woman, no matter which man or which woman, which was how a sixteen year old Roland had once found himself slammed up against a wall with his father screaming in his face after his son had shoved Regina in a moment of anger.

Having the Sheriff of Nottingham standing brazingly in his home as if he owned it was the third and final number on the list.

Nottingham had taken the arm of Hope Swan-Jones of all women, oh how Robin hoped Hook was the type of father to kill a man who got close to his daughter, especially one twenty years her senior, and was dressed, grudgingly Robin admitted, handsomely in all black suit with a black dress shirt, black silk tie to complete the menacingly look with his dark brown hair slicked back.

Robin watched as Henry caught sight of the newest arrival and immediately looked around either for, the thief guessed, his mother or Robin, spotting the former coming down the stairs first, a look on her face that told Robin that she was at her limit regarding things she could handle going wrong.

The thief took a deep breath. Maybe he could get Nottingham out without his men or daughter notic-.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Robyn yelled, gaining the attention of half the fellow partygoers, including his men.

Nevermind.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me," he heard Regina mutter from the bottom of the steps.

 _No use being polite now,_ Robin thought. Not that he had the chance to as he felt his men appear as if by magic by his side.

"What the hell's he doing here?" the ironically named Little John muttered dangerously.

"Hope apparently brought him," Robin answered just as menacingly.

Robin had managed to avoid the former sheriff, even in a small town like Storybrooke, for the most part. The few times they had run into one another had turned into a tense standoff which usually ended when Regina poofed the sheriff away. One time though he had been out without the Queen and both men ended up in the hospital. Nottingham with a broken eye socket, Robin with a broken jaw along with a stab wound in his side and both with broken fists.

"Robin, you got your dagger?"

"He's not going to pull out a knife at his daughter's engagement party," Tuck answered, eyeing the thief cautiously.

"Not unless I have to, Robin added, his eyes never leaving the former sheriff, watching as his daughter stormed up to the pair.

"Get the hell out," Robyn snapped at the blonde and the man beside her, her mother's bite coming out to play.

"I was invited," Hope replied with a smirk, showing her the invitation Regina had sent her more out of politeness than an actual wanting of her presence.

"Well I'm UNinviting you. Get. Out."

"We just came to offer you and your fiancée congratulations, Little Robyn," Nottingham told her, a voice like it had been drenched in oil.

"Oh shut up, you only came here because you knew it'd piss my dad off, and YOU…" She turned back towards Hope. "Only came here because you knew it'd piss ME off," Robyn crossed her arms in front of her chest and turned back to the hazel eyed man. "Also I don't know if you're blind or not, but I'm not 'little' anymore."

The man smirked at the young girl, his eyes traveling lower than they should have but even he had some self restraint and they looked back at her face. "No you most certainly are not…"

What Robin had said in regards to pulling out his dagger only if necessary?

It had just become necessary.

Robin took a dangerous step forward, only to be blocked by Regina.

"Get out of the way, Regina," he warned his wife, his blue eyes narrowing in hatred at the man talking to his daughter.

He would normally never, in any circumstances, talk this way to his Queen. Not in a hundred years but, like everything else involving that bastard, Robin's code didn't apply here.

"Let me handle this," Regina begged him, keeping her voice low.

"Nothing needs to be handled because he's going to leave my home NOW."

The thief had finally spoken loud enough that he finally gained the attention of the man still standing in the doorway.

Nottingham smiled, snake like and smug, and slithered his way over to him. "Come now, Locksley, why do you look so glum? You're celebrating your only daughter getting married."

"Get out of my home," Robin snarled dangerously at him. "You're not welcome here."

"Yes it is your home isn't it? Quite the upgrade from a tent in the woods I'd say."

Unlike with Robyn, Nottingham has no problem letting his eyes wander over the Queen. "The wife is quite the upgrade from the old one too."

Regina swallowed hard as she saw not only Robin square his shoulders but it was almost like a current rippled through the Merry Men standing behind them and she knew in about five seconds someone was going to throw a punch.

"Get out."

Robin spoke with a fury so intense it was as if he was a different person entirely. One that Regina was not a fan of.

"Don't talk about my daughter, don't talk about Marian, don't talk about Regina, just get. Out. Now."

When Nottingham didn't make a move John spoke up, his normally gentle relaxed voice now full with fire.

"The odds aren't even in your favor when it's one on one." The large man took a step forward so he could stand side by side with Robin. "So the fact you're talking all this shit when it's six on one? Mighty brave of you, Nottingham."

Emma and Hook who has just been watching from the crowd realized just how tense the situation was getting and, not really wanting to arrest anyone while they were out at a party, hurried over to the increasingly outraged group.

"Okay, why don't we all calm down?" Emma said, stepping between Nottingham and Robin.

Oh Hope was going to get an earful later….

"No one needs to lose their tempers."

"And no one is going one on one or six on one," Regina added, letting a sliver of her anger shine through."He's going to leave."

"Am I, M'lady?"

"Don't talk to her," Robin warned him with a bark, interrupting whatever Regina had planned to say. "She wants nothing to do with you."

Regina pursed her lips in irritation.

God she hated how Robin behaved when he got around his old rival. Her usually mild mannered respectful to a fault thief turned into this angry controlling thug who didn't let Regina speak for herself.

Nottingham just smirked at the thief. "Answering for your Queen? That's not very chivalrous. Then again I suppose I am talking to the man who fathered a bastard with your wife's sister so hoping for a touch of chivalry or honor from you is a bit of a stretch, I suppose."

Too far.

The dagger at his waist was out of its sheath and held it up to Nottingham's throat before either man could blink.

"Get out," Robin warned him once more, a finality in his voice that even the smug sheriff knew not to argue with.

"Oh for chrissakes!" Regina barked.

"Robin, what the hell?" Emma demanded as she eyed the knife with bulging eyes. "Who brings a knife to their kids engagement party?"

Nottingham also eyed the knife before he put his hands up in mocking surrender. "No need to get, nasty, Locksley. I merely came here to wish you and yours congratulations. I'll leave if you want."

The thief said nothing. He just kept his eyes locked on Nottingham as he backed away, not putting the knife away until he walked out of the lavish home.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Regina yelled at her husband as he sheathed the dagger again. "Was it really THAT big of a deal?"

"Yes it was," Robin threw back, that rare anger that only erupted when he saw his old rival bubbling to the surface. "He isn't allowed in my home." He glanced over Regina's shoulder towards Hope who had stayed relatively silent this whole time, having the decency to appear a touch guilty at what had transpired. "Nor anyone who consorts with him."

At that particular point both Emma and Hook looked back at their daughter before turning back to Robin. "What, you're saying Hope isn't welcome here?"

Regina could hear the challenge in the blondes tone and was about to tell her that was an insane interpretation of Robins words, that Hope was of course always welcome.

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

Regina rubbed her hands over her face. Why the hell did she have to invite Hope? She would have taken the snide little comments from Emma and Hook over not inviting their daughter as opposed to his.

Hook put a hand on the blondes shoulder as her eyes narrowed at the thief. "Come on, Love. Let's just take Hope and go before this gets any uglier."

"Fine, she isn't welcome over here. But your little thugs aren't allowed anywhere near our home either," Emma told him with a rather snide tone. "And maybe if they had better parents they'd amount to something more than a bartender and someone who sells CDs for a living."

"Like that," Hook sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, that's enough," said Regina in a no nonsense tone. "Go, all of you, everyone out. Party's over."

Robin took a step closer to the blonde.

"I'd rather my children be 'thugs' working an honest trade then have them be a spoiled brat like your daughter who still lives at home at the age of 23," he shot back.

"Out!" Regina barked before Emma had a chance to respond.

The two parents stared one another down for an ever increasingly tense moment before she turned on her heel and stormed out, grabbing Hope by the arm and practically yanking her away.

They were set to make a clean getaway. The front door was steps ahead of them. But then, of course, something had to happen.

"Her Dad is as almost as Psycho as Alice is," Hope had muttered loud enough for Robyn, who hadn't moved from her spot since she attempted to stare down Nottingham, to hear.

"Really, bitch?" Robyn barked as she stormed up to the younger blonde. "You really wanna fucking try me right now?!" she finished with a yell as her eyes got that asked wide eyed crazy look that Zelena's did when the witch got intensely angry.

She could usually hold her anger inside her but between her brother getitng drunk and telling her that, clearly false, story about their dad almost abandoning him, and Nottingham, she was at the end of her rope.

"Knock it off, Robyn," Emma warned as she got in front of her daughter but, like her father, backing down from Sheriff's wasn't in Robyn's nature.

Out of the corner of Emma's eye she saw the curly haired adventurers face fill with pain at the insult. She also saw Rogers starting to storm up to their small family but Alice, wiping tears away, stood in front of him, begging her father not to cause anymore scenes as she wiped tears away.

Emma swore she saw Alice mouth the word 'sister' but she couldn't be sure.

Robyn stood as close to Hope as Emma would allow.

"You might consider Alice 'psycho', but guess what? At least she has magic. Which is a lot more than I can say for your pathetic ass."

Robyn said the insult in such a way it reminded Emma not of the thief she was a practical clone of but of Cora Mills of all people, which was when Emma realized that would actually make perfect sense considering Cora was her grandmother.

Very rarely did anyone remember she was just as much a Mills as she was Hood. The way she dressed, the way she acted most of the time, her interests, Hell even her physical features… It was almost as if Robin Hood had a female clone apart from having green eyes instead of blue.

But on occasion, albeit rarely, Robyn let others know just who exactly her mother, grandmother and aunt were and subtlety was not in her nature.

And calling the woman she loved and her father 'Psycho' as well as inviting her father's greatest enemy to her home… That definitely opened up the Mills family heritage.

Hope squared her shoulder as tears flew to her eyes, the same way they did everytime she was reminded that she lacked what her mother had. "

You don't have any magic either!" she fired back.

"Yeah but I choose to give mine up." Robyn smirked in a very Regina-esque fashion. "You're just a sad pathetic loser who never even had it."

"Fuck you!" Hope yelled, speaking around the lump in her throat.

"Your grandparents are Snow White and Prince Charming, your mom is the savior, your brothers the truest believer, Dad is Captain Hook and you? You're nothing. You're a nobody. You're never going to be anything but a magicless waste of space who everyone calls a spoiled rotten brat behind your back."

"Robyn, stop it right now, I swear to God!" Regina's voice yelled at her step daughter.

If Robyn realized she went too far she didn't look it. Hope's chin trembled dangerously, threatening to spill the tears she so desperately wanted to cry but she wouldn't do it. Not here, not in front of that family.

So she turned and stormed out, not looking back even when Robyn yelled out 'too bad you can't poof home!'

Hook, after throwing a rather dangerous looking glare at Robyn, hurried after his child while Emma stared down the daughter of the infamous thief.

"I see you anywhere near Hope, I arrest you for harassment."

"And if see Hope says one more thing about Alice, I kick her ass. Sounds like a pretty fair trade to me."

Robyn Hood and the Sheriff of Storybrooke cast one final glare at one another before Emma stormed away from the now silent crowd, slamming the door behind her so hard a small piece of glass fell and shattered onto Regina's welcome mat.

There was a beat of nothing. No one talked, no one spoke, no one even breathed before an extra large sound of the magical 'poof' erupted before the House was filled with Regina's magical purple smoke and a moment later all but Robyn, Alice, Robin and Regina remained.

Regina turned to her husband, a raging fury in her eyes that Robyn so very rarely saw.

"I poofed everyone else away but I wanted to tell you you're sleeping in your goddamn tent with your men until I decide you come home. Do not call me, do not text me, do not show up at my home without my explicit permission."

Robin took a deep breath. "Regina, I-."

And in blast of purple smoke he was gone too.

The Queen walked into the kitchen and sank down into one of the chairs, the two remaining guests looking at her.

"Regina, are you oka-," Robyn started but Regina cut her off.

"Please leave," she told the two remaining guests, and they could all tell she was trying to not only hold back her anger but her tears as well.

Alice opened her mouth to say something but Robyn held her back, silently shaking her head to her fiancée and without another word the two of them left the home where their party had been.

The moment the door latches behind them Regina took a shaking breath as she sniffed away her tears, running her hands through her hair. She sniffed even more tears away and was just about to open a bottle of champagne for her own consumption when her front door opened.

"Hello, everyone!" Zelena cried out happily. "We were running low on champagne so I ran out to get-... some more… champagne…"

The red headed witch looked around the room which had been full to bursting with happy laughing people just a short fifteen minutes ago.

"What happened?" she asked when she saw her close to tears sister. "Where is everyone? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying," Regina told her, wiping away her uncalled tears. "I'm just… the party was a disaster… Roland showed up late and drunk and was completely rude to his father, Hope brought Nottingham and Robin pulled a knife on him, then Hope insulted Alice and Robyn crossed a line with her and now Robin is spending the night at his camp and I already miss his stupid forest smelling self…"

Zelena pursed her lips for a moment before she shrugged.

"At least it was memorable party…"

Regina laughed, a true heartfelt laugh, before she poured her sister a glass of champagne and handed it to her.

"Fair point. Oh and don't use the guest bathroom, I trapped Roland in a cold shower until he sobers up."

Zelena blinked once. Twice. And clinked her glass with her sisters.

"Good to know."

Please Review!


	9. Chapter 9

I own no one but my own people

 

Regina slowly sipped at her morning coffee, frowning down at the hot brown liquid in her Snow White mug, a gag gift from Lucy when the little girl had gone with her parents to visit Disney World. 

Her husband had been an early riser long before they met that day in the Enchanted Forest. So, every morning for the past twenty eight years, Regina had woken up to a freshly prepared cup of coffee for her to either take to work or for her to enjoy with Robin over breakfast.

But since he had spent last night with his men, Regina had woken up to an empty coffee pot and a broken heart.

As she took another sip of her too sweet coffee, she heard a very familiar set of footsteps and she sighed as she looked up unamused as Robin stood in the doorway of the kitchen wearing his dress shirt and slacks from the previous night.

“Are our locks really that easy to pick?”

“Not for a common thief, at least.”

Rather than reply, Regina choose to drink another mouthful of her coffee while Robin just glanced down at the clean tiled floor, shoving his hands into his pants pockets‍.

“I know you said you didn’t want to see me,” he muttered. “But I um- I wanted to ask if I might be permitted to shower and change. I promised Lucy ice cream with Granddad a while back.”

Another sip. “That’s fine.” A beat before she spoke, trying to keep her tone as level as possible. “You sleep okay? I mean did your men have a spare tent for you or…?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, my whole setup is still there so…”

“Good.” 

She took another drink of her coffee. Why the hell was this so annoyingly sweet? 

“And you?” asked Robin.

“And me what?”

“How did you fare last night?”

“Oh.” Regina shrugged, fighting to keep any emotion from her voice. “I was okay. Kinda lonely.”

_ That was a bit of an understatement. _

Once she had finished off a bottle of wine, Regina had gone to bed where she tossed and turned for damn near an hour before she cried herself to sleep. 

Robin was supposed to be laying beside her. His arms were supposed to be wrapped around her with the delightful smell of forest lulling her to sleep.

“As was I,” Robin admitted. He paused for a moment before adding, “John isn’t as big on cuddling as he used to be, plus he insists on being the little spoon and my arms don’t really fit around him as well as he likes.”

Her face betrayed her amusement as she chuckled, taking another sip of coffee.

Robin smiled at the sight he saw far too seldom and took a step further into her kitchen after deciding it was now safe to venture closer.

“I want to apologize for my behavior the other night,” said Robin. “It was abhorrent, I never should have pulled a knife on Nottingham nor lost my temper.”

Regina set the mug of coffee down and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Go on.”

“Whenever I see him and I remember what he did to me, to Marian, to the people I tried to help, I just lose it,” he admitted. “It wasn’t fair to you nor was it fair to Robyn and Alice.”

“What else?”

Robin cocked his head to the side. “Have I offended you some other way?”

Regina sighed as she got up from the table with the half full coffee cup in hand. “You didn’t just act like an ass when you get around him, you turn into this totally different person.” She dumped the now lukewarm liquid down the sink and rinsed her mug out before she turned back to her husband. “You turn into this angry controlling jerk and I don’t like that, Robin. I don’t like you speaking for me, I don’t like you undermining me, I don’t like you getting short with me in front of people. You were the one who said we were partners, you were the one that said we were equals.”

“We are,” he assured her quickly as he took another step into the kitchen. “We ARE equals, Regina, I swear it. There was no excuse for how I treated you. No matter how upset I got, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

He was right in front of her now. His arms ached to wrap themselves around her waist but he wasn’t sure if they were there just quite yet. “You’re my Queen and I should treat you as such. You WILL be treated as such. From this day until my last, and I apologize for treating you like you were deserving of anything short of my upmost respect last night.”

Regina drew her bottom lip in, lightly biting it as she looked over his face. He appeared apologetic at least.

_ No _ , she thought to herself.  _ He IS apologetic. _ She knew him well enough to know that he would never apologize for something he wasn’t truly sorry for. Not to mention he had actually apologized for his actions. Not sorry for how she felt about what happened, not sorry  _ IF  _ he had offended her, but he was sorry for what he had done.

So he was rewarded with that elusive but satisfying smile her thief saw whenever he closed his eyes.

“Apology accepted,” she told him as she draped her arms around his neck. 

Robin grinned before placing his hands on her tiny waist before sliding down and taking their rightful place on the curves of her ass and pulling her closer. 

“I missed you last night,” he half whispered with a voice like velvet. 

She allowed him to pull her against him and she was almost amazed that even after thirty years of marriage, her heart still raced like she was a young girl when their bodies were pressed against one another and those blue eyes were staring down at her.

“I missed you too,” said Regina softly before giving him a very much needed kiss. He buried his hands in her hair, running his tongue over hers and being rewarded with a low moan for his efforts.

“Wait,” she told him, halting his efforts to undoubtedly have his way with her in their kitchen. “Before we kiss and make up.” She closed her eyes when he nuzzled the bare crook of her neck. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything, M’lady,” Robin said at once. 

“Make me a cup of coffee?”

The thief chuckled and nodded, giving her one last quick kiss before he headed to the coffee maker while Regina went and sat at the kitchen island. 

“You doing anything special tonight?” he asked as he got out a new mug and filled it with the black liquid. Robin looked over his shoulder and smirked at his Queen. “Besides me that is.”

She rolled her eyes at the innuendo, answering with an unamused ‘no’ but the corner of her lips tugging up betrayed her true feelings about his comment.

“Good because after I take Lucy out for ice cream and stop by Emma’s, I am taking you out for dinner.”

Regina tipped her head to the side as he added just the perfect amount of sugar, enough to take away the sharp bite of the bitterness of the dark roast away but not enough to overwhelm it with sweetness. “Why are you going to Emma’s?”

“To apologize for her.”

“To WHAT?!”

“I spoke horribly to her and her child,” he reminded her as he poured the half and half in and black mug she remembered having before Emma came to Storybrooke. “She deserves an apology.”

“Did you forget what she called your own kids? If anything she should be apologizing to you.”

“I insulted Hope first.”

He set the cup in front of her before he poured himself his own cup of black coffee, strong and almost obnoxiously bitter. 

“After she intentionally brought Nottingham here just to ruin the party.”

Regina took a sip of the coffee and she sighed in relief at the familiar perfect taste.

“Nevertheless, Emma deserves an apology.” Robin joined her at the table. “Quite frankly the way Roland and Robyn behaved the other they deserved to be called out.”

Regina wanted to roll her eyes. Tell him that he should be taking his kids side, no matter what he thought of their behavior. Robin didn’t seem to realize how much it hurt Roland and Robyn when their father took someone else’s side over their own because he expected them to behave as honorably as he did and expected his men too. 

But, she reminded herself as she took another sip of her coffee, they weren’t her children. Zelena and Robin had overall say when it came to Robyn and Robin was the sole decider when it came to Roland. She was only their stepmother.

“Speaking of, where is my son?” Robin asked her as he took his own drink of coffee. “I don’t recall seeing him at the camp this morning nor last night.”

“He’s asleep in the guest room. I let him stay here after his shower.”

Robin glanced down at his watch, raising his brow at what he considered a late hour. “It’s almost ten.”

“He doesn’t have to work today and he was up sick half the night and drunk the other. Just let him sleep, Robin.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m up,”  

Both Robin and Regina turned towards the stairway where a hungover Roland was stumbling down the stairs wearing a pair of jeans and a simple black T-shirt he had left here once when he did laundry.

Robin offered his son a polite nod that the now black haired boy ignored as he made his way into the kitchen.

“There’s coffee if you want it,” Regina offered kindly, already getting out if her chair to get him a mug.

“I’m good,” he told her, instead grabbing a small tumbler followed by a bottle of half drank whiskey in the liquor cabinet.

Another raise of Robins brow. “Don’t you think it’s a little early?” the Thief offered, being met with a simple;

“Nope.”

The blue eyed man pursed his lips as he watched his son take a drink of the dark brown liquor. When it was clear Roland wasn’t going to say anything, Robin cleared his throat, trying to keep his temper steady.

“Roland, I think you and I should talk,” said Robin. “Not just about last night but about a few things.”

Another swing of whiskey. He grimaced as the burning liquid made its way down his throat. “No we don’t. As a matter of fact.” Roland finished the last of his glass.“You can fuck right off.”

He nodded towards a stunned Regina. “Thanks for letting me stay here last night.”

As he started to make his way out of the kitchen when Robin abandoned his seat and stood in front of him, putting out a hand to stop him.

“I’m your father, you will treat me with respect,” Robin told him with a warning in his tone. 

He simply stared back unafraid and unintimidated.

“Respect is earned. Not given. What the hell have you ever done that’s earned my respect?”

“Roland, please,” Regina begged, not really wanting yet another fight in her home between the two of them. “Just sit down, come have some coffee.”

“No, he’s a grown man,” Robin said, a sliver of rarely shown anger sliding through as he stared down his son, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “A man is entitled to his words. So come on then; what is it I’ve done that’s made you feel like I don’t deserve your respect?”

“What HAVEN’T you done?” Roland barked as he took a dangerous step forward. “You forgave Zelena for killing my mom, we all just flat out ignore the fact that Regina killed her before that, you were dumb enough to fall for Zelena’s tricks, you were gonna abandon me as a fucking toddler, you were willing to leave me AND Robyn because you planned to die for your girlfriend at the time, and worst of all? You don’t even give a shit that it is TORTURE for me to sit there and watch you treat that redheaded psycho with the same courtesy you give everyone else when you should have shoved an arrow into her goddamn neck the second you found out she killed my mom!”

By now tears were flowing freely from the corner of his brown eyes and all anger had faded from Robin's face. This was more than their past involving Zelena and Marian, it had to have been. Something had happened last night, something that made something snap inside the son of the famed thief.

“Roland…” Robin made his voice as soft and inviting as he could make it which just made more tears appear in Roland’s eyes that were a mirror of the woman the thief had loved. “What happened last night? Talk to me. Please?”

Instead of answering Roland just wiped his tears with the back of his hand and stormed out of the house without a word, slamming the front door behind him.

 

Please Review!


	10. Chapter 10

Robyn hated not getting enough sleep.

She groaned as she opened her eyes after far too little sleep and far too much champagne the night before. The memories of what happened at Regina's mansion all came rushing back to her like a tidal wave, her father pulling a knife on the former sheriff, Robyn losing her temper with Hope, Roland showing up drunk and telling Robyn that lie about what their father did to him…

It was definitely a party to remember, that was for sure.

She reached over, expecting to find her curly haired fiancée sleeping beside her but found nothing but more mattress which was quite unusual considering Alice was a usually late to rise; too many years of free reign when it came to bedtime enforcement.

The archer sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, listening intently for signs of Alice in the apartment. She heard her tinkering around in the kitchen and after taking an additional minute to wake herself up Robyn made her way from the bedroom to the first floor where sure enough Alice was putting something on the stove top.

Robyn allowed herself a moment to enjoy the view as she watched from the bottom of the steps. Alice’s hair was down, still mussed from sleep, and she wore only a silky red colored nightgown that barely went down low enough to cover her ass. When she bent down to look for something in one of the cupboards, the archer bit back a moan when she noticed that the blonde was wearing those small little lacy red panties that Robyn loved tearing off Alice as much as she like seeing them on her tower girl. 

Since Alice had discovered a delightful little store called Victoria Secret, Robyn had been gifted with an entire dresser drawer full of silk and lace short nightgowns and bras and panties that fit the curly haired blonde as if it had been made for her, never having 

She bit her lip, letting her pale green eyes look over her long thin legs, the curve of her ass that her hands could barely stay away from, those incredible thighs that Robyn could spend the rest of her life with her head in between and would die a happy woman before she walked over to her fiancée, wrapping her arms around her slender waist.

“Morning, you,” Robyn greeted with a feather light kiss to her shoulder. “You’re up early.”

Alice grinned as she turned in Robyn’s arms, pausing so she could give her a proper kiss, taking in the archers own sleepwear. It was nothing special or extravagant; a simple pair of heather grey cotton shorts with the band rolled down, leaving it just high enough to cover up that delightful prize between Robyn’s legs and a plain white tank top stretched tight over her large breasts and not quite reaching the shorts and her hair was tied up in a low ponytail but it still stirred something inside Alice. 

“I wanted to make you some tea before you woke up,” Alice told her, giving her another short lived kiss before she turned back to the stove where a kettle that Robin hadn’t noticed before was just beginning to whistle. “After the night you had I thought you might like a cup to help settle you down before you started your day, I know you have to open the bar this morning.”

“You sounds just like my dad sometimes,” Robyn chuckled as she took a seat at their little kitchen island. “No matter what’s wrong with you, it can be cured with a cup of tea. ‘A cup of tea leads to calm nerves and calm nerves lead to clear thoughts’,” she said with a rather poor attempt at mimicking her father’s accent. “I do appreciate it though, but I feel like I should be the one comforting you after what Hope said.”

Alice shrugged as got down two mugs and placed two teabags in them. She failed at trying to hide the hurt from the insult that had been thrown at her. “It’s fine. Not the first time I’ve been called that, I’m rather used to it by now to be honest.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Robyn protested. “No one should be calling you that, much less calling you that enough times that you’re used to it.”

“Thank you. But what Emma said about and your brother was wrong as well.”

Robyn shrugged as well. “Trust me, this isn’t the first time someone called me and Roland ‘thugs’. Granted he kinda earned it last night but I think at this point we look at that as a compliment. I mean hell our dad did get his name from being called a ‘hoodlum’, Roland has it tattooed on his arm for Chrissakes.”

Alice places a cup of steaming tea with milk and a few spoonfuls of sugar in front of her fiancée. “And what she said about your jobs? I don’t really think that’s a point of pride.”

“It’s not but… I mean she wasn’t wrong.” Alice frowned as she watched Robyn take a sip. “I’m a bartender, my brother works at a music store. Hell our dad renounced his right to the throne so we aren’t even royalty in a town where you can’t even throw a stone without hitting some prince or princess.”

She said it with a chuckle but Alice could tell Robyn didn’t find that fact as funny as she tried to make it appear.

“You don’t like being a bartender?”

Another shrug. “I don’t mind it,  I just… sometimes wish I was doing something more than pouring drinks.”

The wild haired blonde sat on Robyn’s lap, draping her arms around her neck. “Well… what do you wanna be?”

“Your wife,” Robyn said with a grin as she wrapped her arms around Alice's tiny waist. 

“I’m serious, Love.  If you could choose to do anything in the world, what would you wanna be?”

Robyn pursed her lips for a moment. “Anything in the world?”

“Anything in the world.”

The archer leaned back in her chair, letting her mind wonder for a moment. She had never really given much thought to what she had wanted to be, truthfully. And frankly it seemed like she was the only one to really suffer with this conundrum.

Henry’s job was literally predestined since birth, Neal knew he wanted to follow in his mother’s footsteps as far back as Robyn could remember, Roland always wanted to do something with his music since their dad got him his first guitar, Hope had been groomed to be Queen since the day she was born.

Robyn however… she just sort of floated through life without really having a direction one way or the other. Her dad told her whatever she wanted to do as long as she did it with honor and integrity. She could have been a damned janitor and he would have been, stupidly in Robyn’s opinion, proud of her. Regina didn’t wanna push her into anything (she had been told what to do by parents far too often to turn around and do it to her step daughter) and just promised to support her in whatever she choose. 

Her mother wanted her to go to school and be a doctor or a lawyer or a business executive and marry someone who made as much money as she was supposed to and live in a little house that looked the same as all the others on the street.

Unfortunately that plan had gone down the drain both as Margot when she went backpacking in Europe instead of college and in reality when she choose to go along with her cousin to all the different realms before going to the realm where her parents and Regina were living.

After far too long a stretch of time, Robyn told her fiancée simply, “I don’t know.”

“Come on, Robyn,” Alice chided but the archer shrugged again.

“I’m not messing around, Alice, I genuinely don’t know what I wanna do. I’m gonna be a bartender forever,” she muttered rather unhappily.  The adventurer frowned at her fiancée but she could tell that she was getting upset at the direction the conversation had turned and this morning tea coupled with the barely there outfit Alice had specifically chosen to wear was supposed to make Robyn happy and forget about what had happened the other night.

“Well you don't have to worry about it now, you got a lot of time to figure it out.” 

Robyn went to close the conversation with a quick kiss but Alice had deepened it considerably.

“My tea’s gonna get cold,” Robyn muttered against Alices lips while at the same time letting her hands slide up her thighs and up under the silk nightgown she was wearing.

Alice swung her legs around so that she was straddling her fiancée, her lips finding that one particular spot behind the archers ear.

“Let it,” Alice groaned as her hand trailed down her body and found its way inside Robyn’s shorts, making the archer buck against her hand. Robyn threw her head back as Alice’s delicate fingers touched her everywhere but where she needed her to be.   
"Alice,” Robyn panted, and Alice grinned against her skin, knowing how much her girlfriend hated being teased. But it was so rare that Alice got to be really in control so the few times Robyn did let her take command, she made the most of it. “Don’t be mean.”   
"Me? Mean? Never?" she said with a sly smile, still touching her just outside where she wanted.

Robyn went to grab her hand to get it to where she needed when, with a simple wave of Alice’s hand, Robyn’s hands were suddenly bound to the arm of the chair in two red silk ropes.

“You bitch,” Robyn groaned as she fought in vain against her bounds, being met with Alice's laugh as she nibbled at her ear lobe. “You’re supposed to only use your magic for good.”

“Mmm trust me, this is defiantly being used for good,” Alice purred before, finally, she shifted her hand and rubbed hard against her clit.   
"Fuck," Robyn moaned, turning her head to the side in relief. She spread her legs to give her better access to her core. Alice stroked her clit for a moment longer, kissed her one more briefly on her lips then slid lower until she was kneeling on the floor and settled between her legs.   
Alice roped her arms between her legs and pulled Robyn to the edge of the chair, leaving her arms still bound to the chair. Robyn’s breath hastioned as Alice slowly, too damn slowly in the archers opinion, hooked her fingers on the waistband of her shorts and pulled them down.

The curly hair blonde kissed up Robyn’s thigh as she spread her legs even further and finally her tongue lashed out to stroke Robyn’s quivering lips, and she groaned as she tasted the unique flavor of the archer.

She worked a finger inside her, marveling at her tightness, as her lips played across her clit.

Robyn wasn't capable of words anymore. Her breathless fragments had turned to panting and heavy breathing punctuated by intense moaning. Her fingers fisted the arm of the chairs she was tied to as she still fought against the ropes, wanting desperately to bury her hands in Alice's curls and bring her closer, and her toes curled from the intensity of it. 

She loosened enough to where Alice could work a second finger inside her, eliciting another long groan from her. Alice  twisted her hand palm up and she massaged the spongy tissue inside her. Robyn’s back arched as Alice found her G-spot, and the blonde continued to devour her clit like she was starving, switching from licking her with the flat of her tongue and flicking her tongue as quick as she could just how she knew Robyn liked.

It didn't take much, it never did when Alice hit it just right. As the adventurer continued to worship her pussy, her body tightened like a bow, arching off the chair, and an earth-shattering scream tore from her lips.   
A proud smile slid across Alice's face as she pulled away from her and looked up at her, her juices glistening on her lips in the semi-darkness of the still early morning.

And, sure enough, the disaster of the party and what the archer considered a disaster of her life was soon forgotten…

—

Esmeralda hated being late. 

No matter what it was for, a party, a date, church, her shift at Storybrookes only strip club, even if she had to be at work on Saturday at noon and the only patrons that would be there was the men who were watching the college football games and not paying attention to the dancers.

But this particular Saturday she was very late. Esmeralda would be lucky if she made it to work twenty minutes late instead of her usual fifteen minutes early like she liked to be. But when you’re up the whole night alternating between crying and screaming and cussing out your boyfr-.

Ex.

Your ex boyfriend. You tend to sleep in.

The dark haired beauty went to lock her apartment door behind her when she heard familiar footsteps and she rolled her eyes to the heavens.

It wouldn’t have been as bad if she couldn’t smell the stink of whiskey soaked into him already.

“Go away, Roland,” she warned him but he made no move to honor her wishes.

“We need to talk,” Roland told her when she turned towards him. 

“No, we don’t,” she said rather sharply as she pushed past him and made her way down her rickety stairs. 

“Yes we do,” the curly haired musician said as he followed her. “Please?”

“No.” 

“Essy, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t call me that,” she barked. “People who lie don’t get to call me that.”

She continued her trek down the stairs and through the front door of her building with Roland following.

“I didn’t lie!” he argued, a lie in itself but he had no other option.

“No?” She whipped back around, stopping him in his tracks. A fire burned bright in her dark green eyes that were overflowing with tears. “So you didn’t steal my pills?”

“Esmeralda, please-.”

“The pills I NEED to be able to deal with the pain in my leg?” she continued. “The pills which are the only thing that still allows me to dance?”

Roland swallowed hard, shifting guiltily where he stood.

“I’m sorry,” he told her again, his voice trembling. “I just, i was in the bathroom, and I saw it-.”

“Oh so it’s my fault for having my own legal medication in my bathroom?”

“No! No of course not!” 

“And what’s worse, what-.” Esmeralda took a moment to swallow a sob that was making its way past her lips. “What’s worse is you don’t even seem to care about the promise you made me. You SWORE you were done with pills, you SWORE you stopped, Roland!”

“I did stop!”

“No you didn’t!” she cried. “I know you didn’t, I fucking found Snow’s prescription in your bag just two weeks ago! But I thought it might have been old, that you just forgot you had it in there.”

Roland opened his mouth and shut it again, glancing down at the sidewalk as tears filled his brown eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I am, I- I’m gonna get help, I promise. Please don’t leave me.”

If she was moved by his tears she didn’t show it.

“I don’t want anything to do with you when you aren’t sober,” she told him. “I helped you through it once, I’m not gonna go through this again.”

“You won’t have to, I- I’m gonna get help,” he promised her. “I swear to god. I’m gonna stop, Esmeralda.”

The dark haired woman pulled her purse over her shoulder, her eyes hard as stone. “Until you do, Roland, you can fuck off.”

Without another word Esmeralda turned, got in her car and drove off with Roland staring after her.

—-

Hope hated getting yelled at by, well, anyone.

The blonde sat at her kitchen table, her arms crossed in front of her as Emma and Hook took turns yelling at her for what she had done the other night.

“You know that Robin and his men hate him,” Emma shouted. “You knew bringing him was going to start a fight!”

“No I didn’t!” she lied effortlessly.

It wasn’t a lie. Not really anyway.

She brought the former sheriff as her date to sow discourse throughout the entire party but that was all she wanted to do, disrupt the party that was celebrating the bitch and the psycho. She didn’t, however, know that the hatred between the two was strong enough that Robin would have pulled a knife on Nottingham. If she has known Robin hated the man to that extent, the way that Hope felt about Rogers honestly, she never would have brought him.

“Yes you did!” Emma yelled. “Okay, do you realize if it hadn’t of left Robin Hood would probably be in jail?!”

“Oh so it’s my fault he can’t control his temper?!” 

“No but it’s your fault when you intentionally bring someone’s worst bloody enemy into their home!” Hook barked. “Not to mention the man’s almost twenty years your senior! What are you even doing hanging out with him?”

“He’s my friend! And okay, you’re like three hundred years older than Mom!”

“That is a totally different scenario!”

“How?!”

“It… it just is! And we aren’t talking about me, we’re talking about you, Little Lass!” he yelled, using the nickname he only used when he was, as rare as it was, mad at his daughter.

Hope let out an angry huff of breath and leaned back in her chair, her blue eyes narrowed in a way that reminded them all strongly of an angry Snow.

“You’re going to go over to their house and apologize to Robin,” Emma told her, making her daughters eyes go wide with shock.

“After what he said about me, are you serious?!” Hope cried. “He called me a spoiled brat!” 

“Quite frankly the way you’ve been acting I’m starting to agree with him!” Emma yelled back. “Now, you are going to go to that house, you will tell him you didn’t know what you were thinking, and you will tell him how sorry you are and then you will apologize to Regina for ruining her party. Do you understand?” 

When Hope replies with nothing but silence, Emma banged her hand on the table, making the young girl jump. 

“Hope Eva Swan-Jones, do you understand me?!”

Tears flooded her eyes that softened both the pirate and the saviors heart. They watched as she wiped away her tears and cleared her throat. 

“Fine. Do you want me to apologize to Robyn for making her yell at me too?”

“No, I don’t,” said Emma in a more relaxed tone. “Robyn never should have said that to you.”

“Speaking off,” Hook added once he took a breath to calm himself down. “I’m sorry about what she said, about you not having magic.”

Hope sniffed away her tears. “Why, she was right? I don’t have any magic, I’m not some famous character, I’m a nobody, I’m nothing.”

Emma’s hand curled into a fist as an anger rages through her, not at Hope, but for the words she had used to describe herself, at what Robyn had made her feel.

She wanted to beat the shit out of that cunty little archer...

“Don’t you EVER say that about yourself!” Emma told her daughter as sharp as a knife. “EVER! You are NOT nothing, Hope, you will NEVER be nothing! You are the daughter of The Savior and Captain Hook, you’re the grandchild-!”

“Of Snow White and Prince Charming, and the sister of the truest believer, and the sister in law of Cinderella,” Hope interrupted while more tears flooded her eyes. “I know that, I know all about my relationships to everyone. Okay, everyone in my family are literal fairytale characters or they’re the savior, or they’re the truest believer or they have true love or they’re worthy enough to come back from Death. Then there’s just me and guess what? I. Am. Nothing.” 

Without another word Hope got up from the table, grabbed her purse, and stormed out.

 

**Please Review!**


	11. Chapter 11

" _It's not my fault! I'm not to blame! It's that Romani girl, the witch who sent this flame! It's not my fault! It's in God's plan! He made the devil so much stronger than a man! Protect me, Maria! Don't let this siren cast her spell! Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone! Destroy Esmeralda! And let her taste the fires of hell! Or else let her be mine and mine alone!"_

"That song doesn't sound psychotic in the least."

Roland stopped playing mid note, turning to the person who that familiar voice belonged to.

"Not to mention it sounds kinda victim blamey," Hope told him.

The blonde was leaning against the open garage door, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her soft blonde curls had been pulled back into a low hanging ponytail and she was wearing light colored jeans and a shirt that Henry bought her years ago; a white wife beater with her father's hook on the front of it. The black and silver hook was now chipped in some places, the entire lower left portion of the image was gone, and was now so stretched out that if Hope turned to the side anyone could see the heather grey bra beneath.

But she still looked rather attractive.

Roland cocked his brow at the woman standing in his garage, taking a long drag from his pipe full of Little John's stolen weed.

"Didn't realize I was holding a open concert for sociopaths."

Hope scoffed. "You wanna talk about sociopaths with who you have for a stepmom?"

Normally Roland would, and had, defended Regina against these types of insults but the wounds from that morning were still far too tender to argue against that particular observation.

So instead he just took another hit from his pipe.

"Seriously, Hope, what are you doing here?"

She walked in the garage with a careless shrug, shoving her well manicured hands into her slim pockets. "I was just taking a walk but then the whole 'I wanna burn my girlfriend alive thing' kinda caught my ear."

"I meant that metaphorically."

Hope sat down in a back facing metal folding chair, resting her chin on the back of it. "Well why do you want to metaphorically burn your girlfriend alive?"

"I save explanations about my lyrics for people who don't bring my dads biggest enemy to my families party and then ruin them," said Roland as he walked over to the mini fridge and got out a can of beer, tossing it to the blonde who caught it with ease.

The weed Roland had been smoking was making him far kinder than he was sure he would have been if he was sober. Maybe Robyn was right; maybe smoking did make him too sentimental.

"Didn't you show up drunk like two minutes before me? Wearing leather pants and a fishnet top of all things?" she asked as she cracked the beer and took a slow sip. She expected to grimace at the taste but was pleasantly surprised when it went down smooth and pleasant. When she glanced down at the label she couldn't help but smile.

Roland remembered Hope's favorite beer. Which would make sense considering he had given Hope her first drink when she was sixteen.

He offered nothing but another shrug as he sat down on his own metal chair.

"I had my reasons. You did what you did just to be a bitch."

"I was trying to prove a point."

"What point, that you're a bitch? Trust me my sister needed no more affirmations of that."

Hope gave him a rather exasperated look to the curly haired man. "No. The point... was I'm sick of people acting like me and Alice or her father are my family and acting like I should just get along with them and forgive everything they did to my family. I mean…" Hope rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Technically Alice didn't actually DO anything but she still was the reason I almost lost my dad when I wasn't even born yet. Like… her dad was gonna leave my dad stranded without a way home, he was gonna hurt my mom, he didn't even bother asking Regina or my mom for magic help or think to make a deal with their Rumpelstiltskin, he just jumped right into 'oh lemme strand this guy and pretend to be this woman's husband'. Like what psycho does that?"

Hope took a deep breath, blinking away tears from icy blue eyes. "So I invited Nottingham," she continued when she could speak without her voice cracking. "A little taste of your families own medicine, but I didn't-... I didn't know your dad hated him THAT bad, all I wanted to do was piss Regina and your sister off, that's it. I didn't want a knife fight at her party."

Roland glanced down at the concrete floor, taking a long drag from his pipe and nodding in agreement. "I get it." He expelled the smoke from his lungs and looked back up at his guest. "Everyone expects you to forgive people just because they said they're sorry and then if you don't you look like the bad guy. It's 'not honorable to hold a grudge'. Unless of course it's your own grudge with the sheriff in which case go the fuck ahead I guess…"

"Why do I have a feeling we've moved on from me and we're now discussing your issues?"

"I hate Zelena," Roland admitted a not very well kept secret. "More than I can even say. She murdered my mom, she raped my dad, her boyfriend almost killed my dad, hell the bitch almost made Rumpelstiltskin kill ME with my dad's own arrow…" A long drag from his pipe. "But I'm supposed to smile and break bread with that twat simply because she got pregnant with Robyn. Not to mention the fact Regina killed my mom before Zelena is treated like some little secret the family is supposed to keep swept under the rug plus my dad pulls a knife on Nottingham because of how much he hates him but then he goes and preaches forgiveness for Zelena?" Roland shook his head. "The second my sister was born he should have shoved an arrow down her throat."

Hope took a long sip of her beer and was silent for a long while as if she was gathering the perfect words before she merely said. "Heroes suck."

The brown eyed man chuckled, nodding. "They do. We should just be like Regina and your dad, just… fuck everything up making them pay."

A mischievous grin grew on the blondes face as she moved her chair closer. "What'd be your perfect revenge?" she asked with a gleam in her eyes. "On Zelena, what would be your ultimate punishment for her sins? All the magic in the world at your disposal."

He shook his head. "Nope." He nodded towards her. "You first."

"Well…" Hope took a long drink of her beer, tossing it into an almost full trash container when it was empty. "I'd banish Rogers to some deserted island so he'd go back to being a sad miserable drunk, alone with no friends and no way to get back to his child, just like he would have left my dad. Now Regina, I would-."

"Just Rogers," he interrupted her fantasy. "Because despite what she did to my mom, I do actually love Regina and I don't wanna get into it with you about my step mom and rather or not she deserves revenge or not."

She rolled her eyes to the ceiling but nevertheless decided her mood was steadily improving and an argument over the Queen would just plummet it back down again.

"Fine. But yes, I'd strand him on some desert island with only rum and salt water to drink." She grinned mischievously at Roland. "Now it's your turn."

Rather than the gleeful expression Hope has worn when she described her revenge against the man who mirrored her father, Roland just stared ahead, his face hardened. "I've thought about what I'd do for years to her. For years and years and years, since the moment I found out what she did." Hope shifted guiltily in her seat (she had been the one to tell Roland about what happened with Zelena after all. That was what had caused the still growing rift between Hope and Robyn.)

"And I don't need magic to torture her, I don't need some fantastical punishment that mirrors what she did to my family, I don't want it long and drawn out… I just wanna take the bow that belonged to my mother and take one of my father's arrows and shoot her right in the heart."

Hope frowned at the now rather intense man sitting across from her. When she asked him what his ultimate revenge was, she had pictured something totally illogical and perhaps with a dash of humor involved, just to get one another out of their funks. But this sounded as if he had actually made plans at one point…

"I'm sorry she did that to you," Hope said, her voice almost a perfect imitation of Snow when she was attempting to comfort someone, that almost obnoxiously gentle tone that, no matter how much you wanted to stay upset you just couldn't.

"And I'm sorry that your father is making you feel like shit because you can't forgive her."

Roland let the apology roll around in his head for a moment, one word in particular standing out amongst the rest of them.

She said she was sorry because Roland CAN'T forgive her. Not won't, but _can't._ Hope knew better than anyone about being unable to forgive someone for the wrongs someone made against you and your family, she knew it simply wasn't a matter of willpower or stubbornness, but it was a matter of experiencing an almost physical revulsion just at the thought of accepting their apology or being around them.

"Thanks," Roland told her, not with that with that famed dimpled smirk that made women swoon but a genuine smile that Hope returned in full force.

"You're welcome."

Roland offered Hope a hit from the pipe he was smoking and she declined with a shake of her head. Roland set the pipe on the shelves beside him and stood up with a stretch, groaning loudly. "I'm just gonna play for a bit more before I head back to camp. If you wanna chill for like half an hour I'll give you a ride."

The corner of her lips turned up slightly. "You know you're a lot less of an asshole when you're high. I kinda like it."

Roland gave a snort of laughter as he picked his guitar back up. "Maybe I'm just less of an asshole when you aren't being such a bitch." She rolled her eyes but the smile tugging at her lips showed her unspoken thoughts on the matter.

"Probably." Hope leaned forward in her chair. "Play me something."

"What?"

"Something original. But not the 'I wanna murder my girlfriend' song."

Roland strummed his guitar for a few seconds, pursing his lips as if he were debating on something before he nodded. "I got something for ya."

"What's it called?"

"Haven't decided yet. I um… I actually wrote it years ago but the rest of the band felt it was too slow."

Another smile, this time with a hint of playfulness. "Well what are you waiting for?"

Now that dimpled smirk made an appearance before he began playing.

The notes were smooth and slow just like Roland described, a total contradiction to the loud screeching sounds that his newer music produced. Hope closed her eyes, slightly swaying to the music that he made.

" _When you're runnin' baby._

_You can't let go._

_Life's on the line._

_When you're runnin', runnin', runnin'._

_From a cold, cold world._

_Voices, they cryyy…"_

Rolands voice was just as silky as the notes he was playing. His brown eyes were closed tight in concentration as his voice practically purred at the blonde.

_Somewhere there's hope!_

_Somewhere there's hope!_

_Somebody please!_

_Somebody please!_

_Somewhere there's hoooope!_

_Waitin' there, waitin' there…_

Hopes eyes shot open, her mouth falling open as he sang the words he had written so long ago. No. It had to be a coincidence. Her name was a fairly common word after all, there was no reason to think this song was about anything more than… than hope.

_Ooh, the wheels of fear._

_Turn truth into lies.  
Like a thief in the niiiight._

Rolands Brown eyes opened finally, finding Hopes icy blue ones. She had tears building in her eyes that she bit back as he continued playing, not just to entertain the blonde or to pass the time but he was playing this song to her.

Hope had a sudden feeling the fact that it was too slow wasn't the only reason Roland decided to shelve the song…

_Hold on through the smoke._

_And through the fire.  
Noooo one can hiiiide!_

_Somewhere there's hope!_

_Somewhere there's hope!_

_Somebody please!_

_Somebody please!_

_Somewhere there's hoooope!_

_Waitin' there, waitin' there…_

After the last note had faded, Roland took a deep breath, not taking his eyes from the now teary eyes princess. She blinked back the offending drops of moisture as she spoke, her voice trembling slightly.

"Was uh…" She cleared her throat. "Was that metaphorical too?"

"It depends," Roland answered without taking his eyes off her.

"On what?"

"On you."

Hope's mouth fell open and closed several times before she stood up from her chair. She ran her fingers through her hair and glanced down at the concrete floor.

"I should probably get going," she muttered only at half volume. Without another word she turned and started to walk out of the garage.

"I thought I was giving you a ride home?" asked Roland to which Hope merely shook her head.

"I'll walk, I just wanna clear my head."

"Hope," Roland called out making the blonde stop in her tracks before she turned back around to him.

"Yeah?"

He flashed that rare soft smile he never gave, usually showing off his fox like grin instead. "You should drink more, you're not as bratty when you do."

She could only give him a half hearted smile before she headed out of the garage with Roland looking after her the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve Perry owns the song “Somewhere There’s Hope” and Disney owns the song “Hellfire.”  
> Also I was actually looking forward to writing this chapter for a while so I really hope y’all liked it


	12. Chapter 12

Robin knocked on the white door of the faded blue home he had gone over more than a few times. Although they had visited more often in Robyn’s youth when she and Hope got on better then they did in their teenage years however.

It seemed as if every weekend that Hope wasn’t spending the night over at his and Regina’s mansion, Robyn was over here and calling Robin every Friday and Saturday night begging to spend the night rather than just spend the day together with Hope’s voice pleading for Robin to say yes in the background.

Then as they started to hear the tales of death and curses and bloodshed between the Mills and Charmings, the real tales not the watered down version the families told them in order to prevent exactly what had happened, Hope started to pull away from Robyn, Robyn no longer wanted to go visit Hope, and soon enough both of them fell victims to the long standing blood feud between the families.

It didn’t help matters that Robyn had fallen head over heels for the daughter of a man who, had he succeeded, would have stranded Hope’s father in another realm and would have assaulted Emma in the worst way, a way that reminded Robin far too much of what Zelena did to him, all on the off chance that true love’s kiss might work…

While their daughters no longer got on, there were still many happy occasions that they would celebrate together over the years. Henry’s birthday, Lucy’s birthday, anniversary parties…

But this would be the first humbling apology. 

Robin raised his hand to knock again when he heard the locks tumble from inside and the white painted door opened to a very nettled Emma.

“Robin,” she greeted the thief with a icy demeanor, crossing her arms over her blue and white striped sweater. “Can I help you?”

“May I speak to Hope please?” he asked, being answered with a rather snarky;

“Why? Come to insult her some more?”

It took every ounce of his self restraint not to remind Emma that she had called his children far worse than what he had called Hope, and all this mess was the young girls fault to begin with.

So instead he just cleared his throat before continuing. “No. As a matter of fact I came to apologize to her as well as to Killian and yourself.”

Whatever Emma was expecting to hear, he guessed an argument of some sort where the two of them traded more insults about their respected offsprings, an apology was definitely not involved.

The cold thawed from her expressions and her arms dropped in a rather non defensive maneuver.

“My actions and my behavior towards the three of you,” Robin continued, “especially to Hope, was abhorrent and repugnant. There’s nothing that could possibly justify it and I hope you’re able to accept my apology. I’d also like to apologize on behalf of Robyn, what she said to Hope about her magical abilities was inexcusable and rest assured I will be speaking to her about it.”

The blonde searched over his face for a moment, Robin had a sneaking suspicion she was using her ‘superpowers’ on him to see rather or not he was telling the truth and he was forced to bite back a rather sharp comment once again.

Robin Hood didn’t lie. At all. Nor did he apologize for things he wasn’t sorry for. Emma should have known that by now.

“... Usually Killian just says ‘sorry, Love’ and then he cleans the house,” she told Robin, earning a soft chuckle from the blue eyed man and giving him the first grin he’d seen from her in a while. “But thank you, and I do accept the apology. What Hope did was very shitty, but she had NO idea you disliked him enough to pull a knife on the guy. She never would have brought him otherwise.”

“I believe you.” 

And Robin did. A young girls intentions weren’t exactly hard to figure out. Hope wanted to cause strife at the party for sure, her bringing Nottingham wasn’t an accident, but even Robin knew enough that had she known how violently he would react to seeing the former sheriff, Hope would have found another way to disrupt the party.

But one thing didn’t quite make sense to the archer…

“I just… can’t believe you or Killian would allow a man like Nottingham to date your daughter.”

“Oh trust me we didn’t approve of this and we sure as hell don’t approve of her hanging around Nottingham,” Emma clarified. “I mean the guys almost twenty years older than her, she looks twenty years younger than him, and he’s a skeeze at that.”

“A skeeze is putting it rather mildly,” Robin muttered darkly, clenching his fists just at the prolonged discussion centered at his nemesis.

Emma must have sensed the shift in the thief’s behavior because she gave him a friendly nudge, attempting to placate him with a joke. “It kinda makes sense though, the daughter of Storybrooke sheriffs falls for the most famous sheriff in fairytales.”

“Don’t let her,” Robin begged the blonde, not catching the humor behind the comment. “Please, Emma. For her own sake and virtue, don’t let Hope around that man anymore much less allow them to be intimate.”

“Whoa, Robin, it was a joke…” she told him, her green eyes widening at the rather intense reaction that she quite clearly hadn’t expected. “Trust me, I’m gonna put a stop to it. If Nottingham doesn’t listen then he can spend a few nights in a cell. If he STILL doesn’t get it then her father has a sword and her mother has a gun. He’s not gonna get anywhere near her.”

Robin visibly let out a breath of relief, grasping her hand with a look of sheer gratitude. “Thank you, Emma.”

“You’re welcome.”

The two of them traded soft smiles towards one another. After a moment Robin cleared his throat, hoping to guide the conversation towards a direction he felt Emma should have already steered it towards.

“Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?” he asked, hoping she would take the open door as a means to begin her own apology for calling Roland and Robyn ‘thugs’ as well as for threatening to arrest Robyn.

Emma looked lost in through for a moment before she nodded.

“Oh, right, if you wanted to talk to Hope still I actually sent her looking for you to apologize for bringing Nottingham to the party. You can probably find her coming back from your house actually.”

Robin opened his mouth to protest before closing it again.

He couldn’t force the sheriff to apologize for what she called Robyn and Roland, nor acknowledge that they deserved it in the first place, but didn’t she feel she owed him and his children SOME sort of an apology? No matter how Roland has behaved or what Robyn had said to Hope?

Or perhaps he was being a cynic. Perhaps Emma felt that Robin himself wasn’t in need of an apology and would be contacting Robyn and Roland on her own later like he was doing to Hope.

Yes. That was probably it. That had to have been it…

So instead, he just gave her a polite nod of his head, reminded Emma they had switched weekends and this weekend was Regina and Robin's weekend with Lucy, wished her well and headed back towards his home. 

Sure enough, just as Emma predicted, the thief spotted Hope walking to her own house with her head bowed and her hands shoved into the pocket of her jeans. She appeared deep in thought, so much so that she didn’t see Robin until he was practically right in front of her.

“Sorry for starting you,” he apologized when she took a jump back when she practically ran into him.

“It’s fine,” Hope muttered, her mind clearly elsewhere. Robin cocked his head to the side, examining the young girl.

“You alright?” he asked, his genuine concern being answered with a careless shrug.

“I’m whatever.”

“Hope-.”

“I said I’m fine. Look I was just at your house but at the last second decided I didn’t wanna get fire balled by your wife so I backed out but I was actually looking for you.”

“Regina wouldn’t harm you for ruining her party. You might get a nasty look or two; but she’s not that person anymore.”

Hope raised her brow in disbelief and Robin answered with his own cocked brow.

“She’s not a villain,” said Robin, a bit of warning in his tone. “She hasn’t been for a long time.”

Rather concede or argue, Hope just rolled her icy blue to the sky and Robin pursed his lips but both decided to let that particular argument fall to the wayside.

“Anyway… I wanted to talk to you.. to… ya know, apologize,” she muttered, casting her eyes to the sidewalk in front of her. Robin had to bite back telling her the same thing he constantly told his own children and even Lucy and Henry; give someone, even if you didn’t like them, enough respect to look them in the eye when you spoke to them. 

But with the foundations already heavily cracked between the two families the thief thought better than mentioning it to Hope.

“I didn’t know you and him hated each other like THAT bad,” she admitted. “I never would have brought him if I knew you were, like, kinda sensitive about him.”

_ Sensitive is a bit of an understatement, _ Robin thought rather darkly, his mind beginning to replay all of the wrongs the sheriff had done to him. But he shook away the unpleasant thoughts, instead simply clearing his throat and giving her a polite nod of his head.

“I appreciate and accept your apology, Hope. And I would like to apology to you as well.” Robin waited until she was looking up from her shoes before he continued.

“You know you’re always welcome in my home. You always have been, you always will be. I also am sincerely sorry for calling you a spoiled brat as well as insulting you for living with your parents. I was completely in the wrong for that.”

“I mean you aren’t wrong,” the blonde muttered. “I’m twenty three and still living at home, like.. who the hell does that?”

“Lots of young men and women.” Robin told the blonde. “Robyn lived with Regina and I until she was twenty then with her mother from the age of twenty two to the age of twenty five and from there she moved in with Alice.” 

Rather than offer a rebuttal, Hope just shrugged again, evidently deaf to his words. 

“Its whatever. But I’m gonna get going, my shift starts at nine and my mom’s already mad at me so if I’m late…”

“No, no I understand. The sheriff’s station needs its dispatcher afterall,” he said with a friendly smile in hopes that he gets at least one happy look from her. 

His hopes went unfounded.

“Yeah because it’s not like everyone doesn’t call my mom’s phone when they need something anyway. Can you tell Robyn I’m sorry for crashing her party. She threatened to kick my ass if she saw me again so…”

“Of course. And I do apologize on behalf of my daughter, as well. She was wrong to be so cruel.” Then, not wanting to place all the blame on Robyn, he added, “but in her defense you did call Alice and myself psycho after she was heated.”

“Yeah I’m sorry for calling you psycho. If someone brought Alice's rapey Wish Dad to my house I’d probably get pissed off too.”

Robin just pursed his lips, taking note how she only apologized for the insult directed towards himself and not towards Alice.

“Sorry,” she muttered when she saw the look on his face. “I just… I really hate that guy, Robin,” Hope told him as if she was desperate for him to understand and he had a feeling that was exactly it. “Like you don’t even know. He almost destroyed my family.”

“No I-... I know the feeling. Very well as a matter of fact,” said Robin, once again thinking of the snake oil sheriff who had plagued him and his family in Sherwood Forest.

“And everyone expects me and Alice to be besties just because her dad happens to look like mine and she doesn’t get how freaking annoying that is and how much that pisses me off and no one else even cares.”

The thief took a deep breath, his mind whiling for a moment before he spoke. He wasn’t quite sure if this was the right thing to do but if it helped not only this young girl but it also might help lessen the intensity of the blows Hope gave her, then what choice did her have?

“I’ll talk to Alice,” Robin assured her. “About the whole… ‘sister’ thing, and about what you feel about her father. See if I can make her understand the situation better.”

“You would?” asked Hope with heavy skepticism, raising her brow once more. “Why? She’s gonna be your daughter in law.”

“Because I see how much this hurts you, and my code doesn’t just apply to family. But I want you to promise me something in return.”

“What, to be nice to Robyn and Alice?”

Robin shook his head. “The three of you are grown, you don’t need me telling you who to be friends with or even friendLY with but… I want you to stay away from Nottingham. He’s dangerous, Hope,” he said when she rolled her eyes as an answer. “Far more than you know, more than most of this town knows. He’s especially dangerous to a young woman such as yourself

“He’s a friend.”

“He’s a miscreant. Please promise to stay away from him.”

“Or what, you’re not gonna talk to Alice?”

“No I still will,” said Robin without hesitation, almost offended at the look of surprise. 

Did she really think he wouldn’t help someone in need just because they wouldn’t promise to do something for him? He had even been willing to give the heart potion to Rumple had he protested against his terms long enough, Robin was just lucky the Dark One hadn’t called his bluff.

“Just please promise me? I don’t want to see you hurt, Hope.”

“Fine, I’ll stay away from him,” Hope said with a roll of her eyes letting him know that this particular promise was most likely going to be broken.

But, still wanting to believe the best of others, he gave her a nod of thanks.

“Might I walk you home?” Robin offered once they were both positive their conversation had come to an end.

Hope shook her head.  “No, I’m fine walking.”

“You sure?”

Another shake of the head. “I’m sure. I’ll see you around, Robin.”

With her first smile towards him, albeit one that didn’t quite reach of her eyes, Hope shoved her hands back into her pocket and headed back towards her home. 

The last thing Robin heard was her phone thinking and Hope answering her phone with a friendly ‘hey you’.

…

“So… we caused quite the commotion the other night,” Nottingham’s oily voice rang in Hopes ear.

“Yeah we did,” Hope said with a laugh. “I feel kinda bad though.”

“Whatever for, my lady?”

“If I had known Robin Hood hated you THAT bad I never would’ve invited you.”

“Oh, don’t worry about him. He’s always been rather childish when it comes to holding grudges. Takes after his wife, I suppose.”

“I bet,” Hope laughed. “But hey I kinda realized something though… you never actually told me what happened between you guys. Like I get why you hate him; you were the sheriff, he was a thief...but why does he hate you?”

“Hmm? Oh that; yes, don’t you worry about that, My Lady.”

Hope froze in her steps for half a moment before she continued on her walk. “Well no I mean, I kinda am worried about it, Keith. Robin pulled a knife on you just for showing up at his house.”

“Yes but you shouldn’t be.”

“But-.”

“Besides, if anyone knows the importance of keeping secrets,” he interrupted in that snake oil purr of his. “It should be members of your family.”

Hope opened her mouth to argue but found that she really couldn’t so instead she just sighed. “Fine, keep your secrets.”

“Thank you, My Lady. Are you coming over tonight?”

“No I don’t think so. I’m still kinda tired, I think I’m gonna just go home and veg out.”

“Oh no, see why don’t you come over here. We can watch some movies, I can give you a nice long massage… I can relax your entire self if you’d want me to, Your Majesty.”

His tone caused yet another freeze in her step. “... You realize that the date to the part was just as two friends right? I only took you to piss off Robyn.”

“... I see.”

Hope shifted rather guiltily before she began walking again. “Yeah. I mean I made it pretty clear that I was just bringing you as a friend.”

“No, no I understand, My Lady.”

His tone suggested anything but, but Hope was tired of dealing with people connected to Robyn today and didn’t have the strength in her to argue anymore. “Thanks, Keith.” A beat, then she added just to further her point. “You’re a really good friend.”

“The best,” he said rather dryly. “I’ll talk to you later, My Lady.”

“Talk to you later.” 

And with those final words spoken Hope finally headed back towards her home, her mind unfortunately whirling with what Robin has made her promise, the tone Nottingham had just spoken to her in, and, what took up most of her thoughts, what the curly haired dimpled son of the famous thief had sang to her…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE a lot more Curious Archer next chapter (and in the next few chapters as well), I know this fic has been lacking then the last few chapters and I’m so sorry. In the meantime check out my brand new fic ‘Heal Me’, a modern-AU Curious Archer fic.


	13. Chapter 13

“If I had known getting married involved getting to eat free cake I would have proposed to you the first week we met.”

“Is that the only reason you’re marrying me, the cake?”

“Of course not! ...I also get to wear a really pretty dress.”

Robyn chuckled as she held out her fork, which contained one half of a sample of a raspberry vanilla cake with lemon buttercream that Granny had baked for them, just one of the many samples of possible wedding cake the elderly werewolf had sent over that covered their table along with a small salted caramel apple cake that Regina was famous for and a rather dry vanilla cake with a simple white frosting that Snow had put into the fray, to Alice.

It had been a little under a month since the infamous engagement party that ended in the crowd being magicked up to their own homes and Regina kicking Robin out. 

Since then the two families, the Hood/Mills and the Swan-Jones had a shaky truce that rested on the fact Hope texted Regina a simple ‘sorry’ text which her parents must have found appropriate because there hasn’t been any more mentions of it, nor had Emma apologized to Robyn and Roland for what she called them but the famous thief was not about to cause anymore strife between them by demanding an apology from the savior. 

Even Hope, strange as it seemed, was part of this fragile

understanding and had gone from being snide and rude on demand to Alice to flat out ignoring her. Granted Robyn was always close by and the threat to beat the ever loving piss out of her if Hope so much as uttered a single rude word to her fiancée was always in the forefront of Hope’s mind.

News of Roland’s breakup with Esmeralda eventually found its way to everyone’s in Storybrookes ears, although she refused to say why. It sent the brown eyed man further down the rabbit hole to the point there was rarely a day that passed where he wasn’t intoxicated on booze, weed or, and Robyn prayed she was wrong, the pills he had been so fond of using once upon a time.

Robyn was worried about her older brother of course but with the wedding fast approaching she couldn’t spend every moment fretting about him. She and Alice HAD to start planning less they had to push the date back even further. Which was how they found themselves at home on a Sunday afternoon, the sounds of the Chiefs destroying the very souls of the Patriots in the background, with a tableful of cake samples in front of them.

“Well at least you have good reasons to want to marry me,” Robyn mused. “Who doesn’t wanna get dressed up and eat cake?”

“It’s good,” Alice said after she swallowed the small piece of cake, licking the spare buttercream from her lips. “But it's just…”

“Not what you’re looking for?” offered Robyn not unkindly, getting a nod of confirmation from her embarrassed fiancée who had said the same thing about almost every sample they tried. 

“I’m sorry,” the curly haired girl said guiltily. “I know I can’t make up my mind and this is taking longer than we thought but I just wanna make this day perfect for us.”

Robyn smiled sweetly at the woman sitting beside her, taking her hand in hers and kissing the back of it. “Our wedding is going to be perfect no matter what cake we pick. You know why?” When Alice shook her head, Robyn reached out and pushed a stray curl from Alice's face. “Because that’s the day you’re gonna be my wife. We could have NO cake and it’s still going be one of the top five days of my life.”

Curious, Alice quirked her head to the side. “You have a top five list?”

Robyn nodded. “Yup. And all five are centered around you.”

A shy smile grew on Alice's lips as Robyn reached out and took hold of her hand again. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Number five is the day we met. I knew it was love the second that jerk in the mob threatened you. I just had this…” Robyn thought for a moment, trying to describe the sensation she felt when Alice seemed to be in danger from that mob, when Robyn not only finally stepped up and lived up to the name she had been christened with but when she had found the woman who she wanted to be a better person for, a better ‘Robin Hood’, a better woman, a better everything for. “This… overwhelming urge to protect you and make sure you were safe,” she finally managed to get out. “Like it terrified me to think of someone hurting you and I barely knew you. After we started dating I remembered that my dad told me once what he felt when he saw a flying monkey attacking my step mom. He just had to help her, he had to protect her and make sure she was safe.” Robyn stroked a captivated Alice's cheek. “He had to protect his soulmate, just like I had to protect mine.”

Alice closed her eyes against the onslaught of tears that were threatening to make an unwanted appearance. After she was sure she could hold them back she opened them again and her blue eyes found Robyn’s tender green ones. “I love you, Robyn.”

“I love you too, Towergirl.”

The two women shared a soft kiss before Alice leaned back in her chair with a beaming grin and folded her hands on her lap.

“Well don’t hold out on me, what are the other four?”

Robyn laughed before she took a bite of a strawberry red velvet cake before pushing it away, already knowing it wasn’t going to be sweet enough for Alice.

“Well number four is when ‘Tilly’ trusted ‘Margot’ enough to tell her that some days are good and others aren’t so good.” 

Alice gifted her fiancée a gentle kiss. “I still can’t believe you wanted to be with me after that.”

“Well I can, because I always wanna be with you. Which is why number three is when you agreed to be my wife and spend the rest of your life with me. Then number one and number two haven’t happened yet.”

Alice stared at her rather perplexed, her mind trying to figure out what exactly Robyn could mean by that. Surely their wedding day was one of those days but what on earth was the other? 

Sensing the confusion, Robyn reached out and took hold of Alice's hand. “Number two is our wedding day and number one is going to be the day that we get to call ourselves moms.”

The adventurers face fell, hard. Her jaw dropped and her heart began pounding against her chest as her mind whirled and screamed and panicked and kept for joy and sobbed and a million other things, as if Robyn had just told her she was already with child.

Alice swallowed hard, her lip trembling and Robyn’s grin disappeared from her face replaced by a look of genuine concern. “Alice?” she called out to her gently. “Babe, you okay?”

It was all Alice could do to stammer out. “I… I didn’t… you- you want kids?” 

“Well… yeah. I mean not right away but eventually.” This time it was Robyn’s turn to look nervous. She knew they should have talked about this before they got engaged but Robyn had just assumed… “Do you not want them?”

Alice leaned back in her chair, letting her mind wonder for a bit. Truth be told she never really considered kids being in the picture for her, either for herself or Tilly. 

“I… I mean… I never really thought about it,” Alice admitted. “For most of my life I was in a tower and notions like true love much less a marriage and me being a mum were completely foreign to me. Even when I got out and you came along I still didn’t think a family was ever in the cards for me. Then as Tilly I was too busy worrying about where I would sleep that night or where I would get my next meal from to even consider children…” 

“And… what about now?”

“Now?”

“Yeah. Now that you have a home, a steady job, you’re gonna be married in three months… Have you thought about having a family? With me?”

Alice leaned back in her chair, letting Robyn’s words run rampant in her mind. A family… a family with Robyn. She would be a mum, something that she didn’t even have false memories of having much less her real life. Alice has no idea how to be a mum.  What if she ended up running like Gothel did? What if she wound up abandoning her child like her-.

No. Not abandoned. Her Papa had no choice, she had to leave her alone in that tower. But still; what if something happened and Alice could no longer be with her children? The thought alone was enough to bring tears to Alice's eyes and painful memories to the forefront of her mind. 

No. There was no possible way Alice could bring kids into this world, not when so much could go wrong and innocent children, HER children, would suffer for it. 

“I’m sorry,” Alice told her fiancée, unable to look in her eyes as she spoke. “I am Robyn, I just… I don’t know how to be a mum, and if something happened where I had to leave them for whatever reason… I think it’ll be easier for us if we just don’t have them.”

Robyn gnawed her lip while a painful lump formed in her throat that made it difficult to swallow. Robyn has been wrong to assume Alice would want a family with her someday. She should have asked when they were dating but Robyn was so sure someone with Alices kindness and generosity and loving nature uwould have wanted children.

But if she didn’t then… that’s really on Robyn for not making sure Alice did before she proposed. She also knew her father had given up hope of having anymore children, at least biological ones, once he married Regina. There was no reason Robyn couldn’t make the same sacrifice for the woman she loved as well, no matter how much it hurt her.

Robyn fought to keep her disappointment and heartbreak from making itself known. “I… I mean it… it’s fine,” she said after a spell. “If you don’t want kids, I’m not gonna pressure you into it. I’m marrying you for you, not for some hypothetical kids down the road.”

“Kids? You want more than one?”

Robyn nodded, tracing her finger along a small scratch on their table. “Yeah. Three of them actually,” she admitted with a rather sad laugh. “Two little girls named Allison and Archer then a little boy named Locksley.”

“You even have the names picked out?”

Robyn nodded again. “Allison Killi, Archer Zeena and then Locksley Rex.”

“You… you wanted to name one of them after me and my Papa?” Alice asked, aghast.

“Of course I did,” Robyn said, shocked that Alice would have even considered she wouldn’t want their child to share her or her father’s name. “You were gonna be her mom too. I… ya know, I was thinking we get two donors that way we both get a chance to be pregnant then we would have adopted one… and we would have lived out near the country so you could have that big beautiful garden you always wanted, I could teach them to hunt, you could teach them magic…” 

Robyn shrugged, pushing all of those thoughts and ideas she had envisioned since she and Alices relationship turned serious, out of her mind. It was never going to happen anyway, so why picture something impossible?

But, as Robyn talked about the family she wanted with Alice, a peaceful vision filled the adventurer with a warmth and longing. The thought of having a family with Robyn, of teaching her children to tend to their small family garden together, how to take care of nature, how to take care of the animals in the forest, how to do everything that a nature goddess was supposed to do with patience and understanding and a gentle hand. Alice would watch Robyn teach them everything her own father taught her about surviving in the wilderness and how to shoot a bow and they’d both teach them how to be kind and honorable and loyal... The five of them would read stories together and take holidays together and build snowmen and make dinner and Alice could teach them to play chess and tell them about all of her adventures and promise to take them with her someday like Alice always wanted to do with her own father.

All of those scenarios and futures playing in her mind brought her more joy and more happiness then she ever could imagine. Two little girls with light blonde wild curls and green eyes, one excelling at archery to the point they almost rivaled their grandfather and then the other doing magic who loved nature and exploring as much as Alice did while a little boy with a smug grin and dark blonde hair with brilliantly stunning blue eyes took to the sea like he was part fish, the three of them calling Alice ‘mum’ and she would never ever leave them and they would know Alice was telling the truth when she told them as much.

A future without children seemed easier, one where Alice wouldn’t have to worry about turning into her mother, wouldn’t have to worry about abandon- leaving- like her father did. But a life with children that belonged to her and Robyn, a life that included a family with the woman she loved… That was too beautiful for even Alice to describe.”

Alice reached out and took hold of Robyn’s hand, waiting patiently for her to look up from the table at her. When she finally did Alice smiled softly at her, pushing a stray hair that had fallen out of her braid. 

“I… I like what you’re describing,” Alice told her. “A lot, Robyn.”

“Don’t say that just to humor me,” Robyn muttered as she stabbed one of the rejected cake samples with her fork, that infamous Mills attitude rearing it’s ugly head. “Don’t say you want kids just to make me feel better.”

“I’m not. I… I never had a mum, Robyn,” she reminded her. “I have no idea how to be one, I don’t even have false memories of a mum then my Papa left when I was twelve and I was on my own until I met you. I didn’t have anyone looking out for me or helping me or guiding me and it terrifies me that I might mess up raising kids because I don’t know what I’m doing because no one ever showed me.”

Any Mills bitterness was displaced by Hood compassion and Robyn’s face fell as Alice explained her fears. “I’m sorry, Alice,” Robyn told her. “I’m being selfish. I wasn’t really think about why you wouldn’t want kids, I shouldn’t be upset at you over this. But rather you want them or not I know, without a doubt, you would be an AMAZING mom.”

“Thank you but I-... I think I do want them,” Alice said, almost wanting to laugh at the way Robyn’s eyes damn near bugged out of her head. “Listening to everything you’re describing; the little house in the country with a garden, two little lasses and a little lad, them calling me mum, me helping them and teaching them and loving them and best of all I would get to do it all with you… That sounds perfect, Robyn, and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more.”

Robyn closed her eyes against the onslaught of tears, hardly able to believe what her fiancée was telling her. Her dreams of a future with Alice, her hopes of raising a family with the woman she loved… they were all going to come true.

“You’re serious?” asked Robyn as a catch caught in her throat. “You… you really want a family with me? You’re not just saying that so we can end this conversation and get back to the cake?”

“I’m serious, I wanna have kids with you, Robyn. I wanna be apart of the best day of your life. But don’t get me wrong, I definitely want to get back to the cake.”

Robyn laughed as she reached out and laid a hand on Alices cheek, green eyes looking into blue. “I love you… more than words can say, Towergirl.”

Alice turned her head and laid a soft sweet kiss on Robyn’s calloused palm. “I love you too, Nobin. But I mean regarding kids, you don’t… you don’t want them right away do you?” she asked cautiously. “I mean a turkey baster isn’t gonna be part of our honeymoon is it?” 

Nearly choking on her laughter Robyn shook her head. “No, definitely not… I’m thinking maybe three years between our wedding and when we use the ‘turkey baster’. We get three years of just enjoying being married to each other and then I’ll be thirty one, you’ll be thirty two… does that sound good?

Alice sealed the promise of keeping tonthat timeline with a kiss. “That sounds perfect. Now…” Alice leaned back in her chair and motioned to the tableful of cake. “What do we do about the cake?”

“Well is there any one you actually liked so far?”

Alice pointed her fork towards a chocolate one with a cherry and chocolate buttercream filling and chocolate ganache rather than frosting coating it. “That one was amazing but it’s just kinda boring. The cake should be something fun,” Alice said as she poked at another vanilla cake, this time with strawberry jam between the layers, with her fork with a frown. “A wedding is a fun thing, I mean yes it’s romantic and elegant but isn’t the whole point of the reception for us to celebrate our marriage? There’s not really a whole lot of things fun about lemon and raspberries and the chocolate one tastes good but it’s just a simple three tier cake, no ones gonna really remember it. Not to mention it should go well with the prime rib, fish and mushroom ravioli.”

“You want something fun AND memorable, got it.” Robyn pursed her lips as she mused, thinking of how she could fulfill both requirements of her fiancées cake speciations.

Then suddenly a burst of inspiration filled her and Robyn reached for her phone and snapped a photo of the picture that Granny provided of what the cake would look like.

“What are you doing?” Alice asked as Robyn began clicking and typing frantically, the grin on her face growing wider every second until finally she handed her phone to Alice.

The screen showed the chocolate cake as Granny had made it but with a few noticeable differences. A string of regular sized gummy bears of every color on the side of the cake wrapped around it in an intricate spiral and on top were two large gummy bears, one green and one blue, dressed up as two brides complete with white lace dress and veil. The green gummy bear held a miniture bow where as the blue one was wearing a tiny starfish necklace.

“We can get the big gummy bears and the little necklace and bow online and then the regular gummy bears we can just buy at the store,” Robyn explained. “If we pay her extra Granny can sow the dresses.”

The archer laughed as Alice grinned brightly at the edit on her phone, squeeing joyfully and holding it to her heart. “It’s beautiful, Robin!” she cried joyfully. “I love it!”

“Well the smartest woman I know once told me ‘you really can put candy on anything’.”

Alice grinned at her fiancée, reaching out and kissing her softly before a knock at the door unfortunately interrupted the two.

It turned out to be Robin who was to escort them to the castle where Regina had her coronation where Rogers would be waiting for them.

Along with the vital important mission of choosing the cake they also agreed to start searching for wedding venues with their father’s as well, something that had already caused a fair bit of strife between them. 

Alice’s father never taught her about gods or goddesses or God with a capital G. She asked her Papa once, when she was a young girl, what happens when you die. He told her that she would get to see the world, that she would get to captain her own ship and be free of the tower and free to be wherever she wanted in a blink of an eye. 

Alice would have a thousand adventures and see a million different things before breakfast if she wanted and best of all, her Papa would be right beside her the whole time with no poisoned heart between them.

That always made her feel better, safer, happier. That when she died she would have as much freedom as she could ever ask for.

But there was never some great grand ominent being up in heaven looking out for Alice, there were no gods or goddesses meddling or helping and assisting in the lives of mortals. None that her Papa ever talked about anyway.

Then when she escaped her tower, when she went on her adventures in Wonderland and other places, she saw people who worshipped a great hunter in the sky go to war only because the realm next to theirs worshipped a pride of lions who lived beneath the earth rather than the hunter. She saw a mother disown and throw her own child out on the street because her son didn’t believe in the ten gods she believed in and instead choose to believe a seven faced goddess. 

She met a woman who had been tortured and raped all because she had fallen in love with another woman and the people in her city followed a god whose holy word said that kind of love was forbidden.

Alice didn’t spend a lot of time in that realm.

After that particular instance Alice swore off religion. She didn’t want to be apart of something that just brought pain and death and misery and hatred. Not to mention, if there truly was some magical being in the sky whose job was supposed to help people, why did he or she or they or it allow bad things to happen? Why was Alice trapped in a tower for 17 years?

Then Alice met Robyn, who told her of a single God that her dad and his friends worshipped. He created all the realms, He set bushes on fire, He was able to split seas… He even had a son that was so revered that they celebrate his birth by throwing away fruit cake and celebrate his death by coloring eggs (Alice didn’t really quite understand the land without magic’s customs). He even had his own special day in the magicless realm; a day they called Sunday. 

Robyn told Alice that she did believe in her dads religion, somewhat. “Only the nice parts though,” she promised Alice with a smile. “The parts about helping people and being a decent person.”

But even in Robyn’s own religion there were people at war over it. People who only believed in the first part of the famous book Robins friend Friar Tuck read from were hated and treated horribly by people who believed both parts. Then there were others who believed both parts of the book but because they disagreed with one single aspect, they hated each other. There was also a whole other group who believed in a THIRD part of that book that lived in a strange land called Utah.

There was still far too much hate and anger for Alice to want to learn much more about it but Robyn, nor her father or brother or even the Friar ever pressured Alice to learn more about their faith and Alice sat patiently and waited politely when she ate a meal with Robin who always had to bow his head and thank his God for dinner. 

Then as Tilly, she just didn’t believe anything. She was homeless, she had memories of being abandoned by her father and mother, she had memories of hateful abusive girlfriend who kicked her out of the apartment they shared… what kinda God would allow that?

Which was why Alice really didn’t have a preference one way or the other where she got married or who did the actual marrying rather it was in a church or a castle or rather the justice of the peace Archie or Friar Tuck who the one that performed the ceremony. As long as Robyn was waiting for her at the end of the aisle they could get married in an old shipping container for all Alice cared.

Of course being married on her birthright, the Jolly Roger, out on the open seas that she always dreamed about seeing would have been amazing but she wasn’t about to jump into an argument because of it.

Unfortunately for her, her papa and Robyn’s father didn’t exactly feel the same way.

The young girls and the two men had so far visited the castle where Snow and Charming had married and Regina was crowned Queen, a Catholic cathedral, the clearing in the forest where Robin and Regina had married, and now on the Jolly Roger itself looking for a proper wedding venue.

Robin was far more polite and held his anger far better than Rogers but even Alice could see his temper beginning to flare when the one handed pirate continued to berate the options that Robin put forth.

“Alice is the daughter of a pirate, she should be married on the open seas by a captain, namely me,” Rogers barked. 

“My children are getting married in a church,” Robin told him without leaving much room for argument. “Not on a pirate ship.”

“Dad, does it really matter?” Robyn groaned, already annoyed with the arguing between the two men. Truthfully she couldn’t care less where she married her true love, just as long as it happened. 

Sure getting married by the same man who married her dad twice and who had been one of her confidants over the years would be nice but the physical location she could have cared less about.

“Who cares if we get married in a church?”

“I do,” the thief told her. “You always knew I wanted you to marry in a church, Robyn, and Tuck is looking forward to marrying you two.”

“Dad, Tuck is rarely sober enough to look anywhere but down the neck of a bottle.”

“Even still, I want you married in a church by him.”

Robyn rolled her eyes as she shared a look with her fiancée who just shrugged, unsure of what to add to discussion before turning back to the arguing men.

“Alice nor me is religious,” Rogers told him. “The Jolly Roger is my home, it means everything to me AND Alice.”

Robin bit back a reminder that Robyn was, relatively, religious and the thief definitely was. “She’s hardly been on it. Not to mention have you seen the state of your ship? Regina and Zelena would never allow her to be married here.”

“The Jolly Roger is Alice's birthright.” 

“That may well be but that doesn’t mean she has to be married on it. Plus are you even ordained?”

“A ship's captain doesn’t need to be ordained, Mate,” Rogers told him with a particular warning in his voice.

“Okay stop. Both of you for two seconds knock it off,” Robyn barked before her father could retaliate. When both men quieted down she continued. “Are either of you guys gonna even ask what me or Alice wants?”

Both men grew silent, the thief looking far more ashamed than the pirate but the words did what they were supposed to and allowed Robyn a moment to catch her breath. Yes

“Dad, I know you want me married in a church but I really don’t care where we get married. Plus I’ve never been as into the church as much as you and you know this,” Robyn admitted to her dad before turning to Alice who was glancing down at the forest floor, trying desperately hard not to get in the middle of this.

“Alice, where do you wanna get married?” Robyn asked her softly as if they were the only two people there.

The curly haired adventurer but her lip as she twisted her foot into wooden plank beneath her boot. She didn’t want to upset Robin but at the same time her father was right. She wasn’t religious, at all really, and the thought of being married on the open seas was something she envisioned since Robyn had proposed.

“I’d… I’m sorry, Sir,” Alice muttered looking towards a disappointed Robin, the disappointment a thousand times worse then if he was angry with her. “But I- I would really like to marry out on the open seas…” 

“See,” Rogers said with a smirk towards the stunned thief. “She wants a wedding on my ship. So it’s settled, I’ll do the vows-.”

“Hang on,” Robyn continued sharply. “Sorry, Rogers, but I don’t want you to do the ceremony. I want the same guy who married my dad to my step mom and his first wife to marry me.  Alice, do you mind if Friar Tuck marries us?”

“Not at all,” Alice said quickly, delighted to see the disappointment fade from Robins face. “I don’t mind at all, Love.”

Robyn smiles at her fiancée, giving her a quick kiss before she turned back towards the placated thief and the annoyed pirate.

“I’ll also get Mom and Regina to magic it up so it looks good in the photos,” Robyn added, more for her dads relief and benefit then anyone else’s. “Is everyone good with this?”

Robin gave an understanding nod towards his daughter and Alice. “That sounds like something I can live with. I’m sure the wedding is going to be beautiful,” he said with a friendly smile, sending a flood of relief towards Alice that she hadn’t angered the man who had saved her while she was Tilly.

“A pirate’s daughter should be married by a captain,” Rogers muttered, earning him an identical cock of the brow from both Hoods. “But the bloody drunk badger can marry them.”

Robin pursed her lips, fighting against the urge to defend her fathers friend and to just let this particular argument go. Her father, it appeared, was fighting that same battle.

“I’m glad that’s settled,” Robyn said, hoping to take away from the tenseness if the situation with a glance towards her watch. “Because I gotta be at work in about twenty minutes. Alice, you good getting home?”

“Actually,” Robin said before Alice could speak up. “I was wondering if she would be up to taking a little day trip with me. If that’s alright with her of course ,” he added with a friendly nod towards the adventurer who just nodded and told him of course.

After bidding her still sullen father farewell and promising to drop off dinner at the bar for Robyn later that night Alice and Robin headed off on their adventure which took them to, of all places, the enchanted forest part of the United Realms more specifically a pub just outside the other half of Regina’s castle. 

“What are we doing here?” Alice asked the suddenly cautious thief. “If we’re looking for reception halls I think we should wait for Robyn.”

“No, no it’s not that,” Robin assured her “I just wanted to introduce you to someone in a manner of speaking.”

“Okay… who?”

“Don’t draw attention to yourself but look through the window there and see if you can spot the man sitting at the bar, four seats from the center,” Robin told her somehow without looking through the window himself.

Alice did as she was bid and after a moment of searching her jaw dropped when she realized what she was seeing.

“Its… it’s you,” she gasped. “I didn’t know there was another you, you or Robyn never told me.” She grinned as she turned to look at him. “You’re just like my Papa.”

“In a way,” he said not unkindly.

“But why didn’t you or Robyn ever tell me? That you’re like my Papa and Fook?”

“Fook?”

“First Hook.”

“Ah. But to answer your question, Robyn never said anything because Robyn dislikes him,” he explained. “Truth be told I’m not fond of my doppelgänger either.”

Alice narrowed her eyes at the thief. That didn’t make sense, why would he hate someone who was exactly like him?  “But...why? You and him are the same, you two are like Fook and Papa.”

“You see, Alice, me and Locksley, what he prefers to call himself, are not friends. We aren’t close, we aren’t alike in many ways at all. I believe him to be a dishonorable man who before his marriage to the Queen spend his days laying with women, drinking and stealing for his own gain. Even now when he robs from the rich to feed the poor he still takes a profit for himself and his Queen, he doesn’t respect his men nor treat them as a leader should treat his men. Infact the first time my wife brought him to Storybrooke we nearly ended up killing one another.”

Alices face fell as she looked between the darker haired Robin laughing in the tavern and the lighter haired one standing beside her. No… no this wasn’t right, Robyn’s Papa and the man in the tavern, they were the same, they… they were like her Papa and Hope’s Papa, they were the same some how could they hate one another? How could Robyn hate Locksley, that would be like Alice hating Fook or… or Hope hating...

“...But… but you- you’re the same,” Alice argued, more to herself then to the thief in front of him. “Robyn, my Robyn, is his-.”

“Robyn is nothing to him, Roland either,” Robin clarified sternly but without a breath of harshness. “Nor am I. He’s a man who looks like me, he has no more connection to me than Granny does.”

Alice bowed her head, her bottom lip beginning to tremble. But… if they weren’t alike, and if Robin didn’t consider Locksley any part of his family, if he considered Locksley a villain… Then that would mean…

“However,” Robin continued, lifting her chin up with a finger so she was looking into his eyes. “To his Queen, he’s an good husband. He never once looked at another woman since she walked down that aisle, he showers her with love and compliments. To the people he gives money too, they don’t care if he takes 50% off the top. To them he’s an honorable righteous hero and I’m the villain for trying to stop him. To his men he keeps them fed, housed, he gives them a share of the profits to keep or spend as they please rather that be with charity or drink or women and I’m the prat would would take steady feed from their mouths all because he doesn’t treat them as decent as I would… It’s the same situation with your father and Hope.”

Alice nodded, the meaning of his words seeping in. 

“To you,” Robin continued. “Your father is a hero. He’s your father, he’s the man who saved you, he’s the man who gave up his life for you... To Hope, your father is the man who left her father for dead or at very least left him stranded in another realm while Emma was pregnant, he’s the man who would have assaulted her mother, he’s the man who planned to lie and deceit Emma, he’s the man who, with Regina’s magic, Zelenas, Emma’s savior magic decided that assaulting her was his best option, and you’re merely the motivation behind his crimes… It’s all the way we look at things. It’s all about perspective, Alice. ”

The adventurer nodded again, understanding what this whole day trip was about but more importantly finally understanding why Hope hated her father, why she hated  _ her. _

She couldn’t really blame Hope, truthfully. Not really. Not after what Robin just explained to her. Plus hadn’t Robyn told her about Rolands hatred for Zelena? He could barely stand to be in the same room with the red headed witch but Robyn was very fond of Zelena, she forgave her mother for all of her prior sins.

How was that any different then Alice and Hope?

“So can you see why Hope might have issues with you calling her ‘sister’?” asked Robin. “Or saying the two of you share relation?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “And I’m sorry I did it, I won’t do it again I swear.”

Robin smiled sweetly at his daughters fiancée. “There’s nothing to forgive, Alice. Now; how about I treat you to some delicious grilled wild corn at my men’s camp? You can take some for Robyn tonight for dinner.”

—-

“I’m gonna kill him,” Hope muttered as she slammed the driver side door of her mothers yellow bug, the streetlights and the stars shining above in the pitch black sky her only light. “I’m gonna shove that damn guitar down his stupid throat.”

Roland called the blonde princess at half past midnight, having her number still saved from a lifetime ago. He muttered nonsense for a bit until Hope barked at him to make sense or hang up and let her sleep so he did as he was bid and begged her to come over, to listen to his new song, rambling incoherently over and over until she agreed to come over in the dead of night.

Half an hour later here she was, in white leggings and a baggy white shirt with her blonde waves pulled into a lazy bun, looking every bit the angel her parents and grandparents always told her she was if not for the look of tired anger on her face.

“Roland!” Hope called out, storming into the dark and silent garage. “Roland!”

When she retrieved no answer she sighed, stomping over and turning on the main light to the garage.

“I swear to God,” she barked as she twisted around. “If you called me out here just to-“ Horror took over her face as the light illuminated the garage and her eyes fell on the brown eyed man laying unmoving, unconconscious, and not breathing on the concrete floor...

 

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